Jesus loves me, this I know. For the Bible tells me so…” I remember singing this song in Sunday School as a child. I knew the song well, and, of course, I knew Jesus loved me.
But did I know? Did I really know?
As a young teenager, I remember sitting in the dark and feeling consumed by the darkness. My mind wandered, and I searched for light, for hope, for something. I felt empty. I was empty. And I knew something was wrong.
It was me. There was something wrong with me. There was something really, really unfixable and wrong with me.
I quit eating. I isolated. I hid. I ran. But I couldn’t fix me. I couldn’t get away from me. I couldn’t punish myself enough. I couldn’t make myself good or even okay. I couldn’t set myself free.
And after years of living this way, it happened. The inevitable. The best possible thing that felt like the worst possible thing happened. I hit rock bottom.
I was hopeless. Utterly hopeless.
Jesus Loves Me
That’s when I walked through the doors of Mercy Multiplied. And that’s when I came to know, really know that Jesus loves me. Even me.
I often ask my kids, “What is the most important thing I want you to remember for your life?” Most of my 10 (yes TEN!) children answer, “That Jesus loves me no matter what.”
Like all of us, I have lived a life full of experiences good and bad, hard and beautiful.
I trudged through difficult childhood experiences that really gripped me and tried to shape who I am. I went through a time of reckless living, making poor choices and struggling with the pain of regret. I dealt with deep depression, one I thought had no end. I battled an eating disorder that consumed me, my time, my health, my relationships, and my life. I’ve not been the greatest friend, and I’ve gone through the pain of broken relationships. I struggle as a wife and as a mom, unsure if I am giving the best. I went through a time when I felt crushed by the church, where what once felt safe and secure crumbled before me. I’ve felt the sting of death, abandonment, heartache, and hardship.
In all of the seasons I have lived, I’ve come back, again and again, to believe that the most important thing in my life is to know, really know, that God loves me.
His love isn’t based on whether something good or bad happens to me. It isn’t greater when I feel like I am doing good. It isn’t less when I blow it. It is steady. It is real. And it never changes or fails.
I know, it seems simple. It does. But isn’t it hard to deeply believe He loves us when bad things happen, when others reject us or when we make poor choices?
Jesus Loves YOU!
For you, like me, He really wants you to know…
In the darkest of nights, He loves you.
In the midst of depression, He loves you.
When you are struggling with pride, He loves you.
When you give in to temptation, He loves you.
He sees the addiction, He loves you.
He knows the pain, He loves you.
He knows your consumed, He loves you.
He saw you blow it, He loves you.
He knows you messed up again, He loves you.
As a mom, allow me to speak into you like I do my kids. Jesus loves you no matter what. There is nothing you can do to make Him love you more, and there is nothing you can do to make Him love you less.
Take hold of this one thing, let it soak into you, and allow yourself to be anchored by it. Jesus loves you. Even you.
Mercy Multiplied is a free-of-charge residential counseling program that helps young women ages 13-32 break free from life-controlling issues and situations. Apply today or learn more about how Mercy can help you.