One of the most overwhelming feelings of those who struggle with suicidal thoughts is that you are alone.
No one can understand what you are going through.
No one can know what you have done.
No one can help you.
These are the messages of anxiety and depression, and soon the dark chasm of the word “no one” becomes the deep that calls out to you, limiting your ability to see differently than what you feel. Somewhere in that void, you begin to believe a voice that tells you that you can solve the problem by ending your life. That voice is lying to you!
The problem you are facing isn’t really that you don’t want to exist, but rather that you don’t want to keep living the life you are living. The good news is that regardless of what you feel, no matter where anxiety or depression have taken you, there is still a strong possibility of change outside of your emotions. Only, you can’t do it on your own. You are going to have to seek help to get there.
If you are struggling, the first thing to ask yourself is, “Who told me what I believe about myself, my situation, my circumstances?” If you are honest, you will find that it is mostly you, and if you look for exceptions to that internal message, you might find hope to keep choosing life.
This process is best explored with a counselor as that question is often difficult to answer or to ask of those who do life with you. Counseling offers the safety of confidentiality and support separate from relationships in your community. A licensed Christian Counselor, more specifically, can help you process those existential questions of the soul while pointing in the direction of Spiritual Truth that can set you free.
The second thing you can do, and this will be hard, is to resist the belief that no one cares. The truth might be that not everyone cares, but if you look hard enough and deep enough and listen long enough, you will find that some actually do. The solution you seek to end your life will not limit the frustration or pain of those you love but will only add confusion and grief to their current struggles.
You are not the problem, and problems can find solutions with the help of community. Shame will try to tell you to just be silent and that “no one” that’s taunting you will surface yet again; regardless, push past that anxiety and reach out. Someone cares enough to listen.
Third, don’t make any decision impulsively. Play the tape through, see from beginning to end the potential destruction that can follow suicidal thoughts and actions. If you will wait 24 hours and surround yourself with people who love you (even 1 or 2) that will sit with you and distract you until you feel better or more in control of your thoughts and feelings, that can mean the difference between life and death. If you go 24 hours and are still struggling with overwhelming thoughts, push yourself to go 48 and gradually increase that time until you are safely out of the woods. Time doesn’t heal wounds, but it can create space for wounds to heal.
Fourth, write out a gratitude list. This will be hard to do at first when you are overwhelmed with what has you struggling, but this act can push you past your thoughts about yourself to explore the world around you and what it has to offer. Don’t just write it out but meditate on it.
All good things come to us from the Father of lights (James 1:17), so recognize that even in those things, God is showing you He cares.
If you are unable to think about what you are grateful for, ask a trusted friend to share with you what they are grateful for in you, how their life is better because of you. This will challenge you to see the good and free you up to experience more of the meaning you hold to others.
Fifth, meditate and pray. Meditation is the active experience of focusing on one verse or affirming message that brings hope and encouragement to the point that you are aware of its meaning to you personally. This brings you into the present, a space where depression and anxiety usually don’t reside.
Anxiety is usually about regrets (past) or fear of failure (future). Focusing on the present – who you are now and what you need to remember in the moment, can be freeing, and it will take work! Centering your thoughts on one or two scriptures that remind you of your value and praying for God to help you see beyond your circumstances can shift your mindset to one of life from death.
You are not alone. You feel alone.
There is a vast difference between what is and what we feel. Your suicidal thoughts and tendencies might not change overnight, but if you will follow through with even a couple of things suggested here, you can postpone and potentially eliminate thoughts that lead to death. Help is available, and there are people around you who care.
I leave you with this powerful verse, “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand (Isaiah 41:10).” He has sent people to do that on His behalf. You don’t have to understand that to start to believe it; reach out and choose life! be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand (Isaiah 41:10).” He has sent people to do that on His behalf. You don’t have to understand that to start to believe it, reach out and choose life!
If you are a young woman between the age of 13-32 and are struggling, we want to help. Call us today to learn more about our residential program or click here. If you are not eligible for our residential program, check out our Keys to Freedom study which is our way of taking the keys to freedom we have seen successfully change the lives in our residential counseling program since 1983 and placing them in the hands of every person who wants to live free and stay free. To learn more, click here.
Mercy Multiplied exists to provide opportunities for all to experience God’s unconditional love, forgiveness, and life-transforming power. We offer multiple programs and resources online and onsite designed to equip people to live free and stay free in Christ. For more information about the services we offer, click here.