Rejection speaks to a deep part of our hearts, and if we’re not careful can leave us sitting in shame and destructive thoughts. When faced with rejection we have a choice to let it define us or refine us. Our Community Relations Manager, Kerri, shares a bit of her heart, and personal determination to take rejection at its best and allow the Lord to use it.
It is fair to say I may never be the person who creates a product or fashions a new idea that propels new living for the masses. As I sit in the heart of Silicon Valley, possibly surrounded by the most intelligent technology minds this side of heaven – I have a simple goal: To make rejection useful.
My core group of friends and I had decided a few years ago that we would live under the law of risk, vulnerability, and fun. We would do what it takes to put our heart out there, not let fear hold us back, and essentially dare to be us – dare to be free.
Sometime later, I am what seems to be a half a world away from all those beautiful people, and continuing on in the lifestyle of risk, vulnerability, and fun has taken its toll on my lonely heart. All research shows that diminishing risk leads to stagnant businesses and lives. If creativity is cut off at its core, nothing can be developed and shown beautiful – even in the process of being birthed (a messy process, as we all know that it is.)
Enjoying my second cup of coffee today, I have this urgency in my heart that I just want to prove that rejection can be of use. Rejection, at its best, makes us question every part of ourselves. It challenges the way we present ourselves, the trueness that shines, and the false self we project out of fear and angst. Rejection, however, is inevitable. So, I dare say I want to make it a propellant into something positive, something empowering. I want to own rejection, instead of letting it own me as it typically has done. I want rejection to awake and shake me, but in the least harmful way possible.
I want to embrace the trueness of who I am, the big personality and all. I want rejection to settle in my soul, reminding me that the Lord has seasons, trials, and plans I do know not of. I want rejection to throw me in the fire that only leaves behind purity and refinement. I don’t want rejection to keep me in the fire of shame, discouragement, and worst of all, hopelessness. I’ve always used mantras to cheer my friends on, to keep them moving forward and fired up. It’s never to be trite or simple; it’s an honest plea to keep life – rejection and all – in perspective. Recently, while trying to surf for the first time, I believe I coined the phrase “Failing Miserably and Loving It,” and I meant it. I am energized trying new things with those I love. Typically I am light-years behind in skill level, but it’s fun. I’ve always embraced the clumsiness of it all. However, when it comes to offering myself, me, my soul, my inner ramblings, my go-to conversations…I let the rejection linger. I feel it. Like, I feel it. My heart is slowly burdened with ideas on why this person wouldn’t choose to call me for a girl’s night out, or why a guy wouldn’t remember my name after meeting five times. Like why? What’s up? What don’t I possess that you are searching for and value? Or worse – What is it that I am too much of that makes you not pick me, not choose me? Perhaps it has been written many times before, but it’s a great reminder: This world will always try to make you something you’re not. Holding true to yourself is such a beautiful battle to choose to be in. So, I choose to not linger too long there, in the worries of not being enough or of being too much. I know no good can come from it, and the Lord is maturing me. Transitioning that closed door of rejection into an earnest prayer is something so overwhelming to my heart. I seek to truly know that I am who He has called. To accept the characteristics that need to be refined. To give myself grace, true grace – helpful grace, grace that moves me forward. I want that. Lord, fill me with that. Tell us in the comments how you’ve learned from rejection.
Wow this truly spoke to my heart. This was so relatable!! My wounded heart and I, together with God, have started on a healing journey. Scary? Yes. Allow the fear to stop me? Not anymore. I appreciate your transparency. Reading this made me feel that I’m not alone. I just recently thought, am I too much to handle? (Too annoying, too over-the-top, etc… you can fill in the blank and it probably crossed my mind). I decided about a week ago to be who God made me to be, while allowing Him to tweak the things He chooses to. No more condemning, doubting, feeling inferior to others who seem to have it all together. Thank you for sharing this. It came at just the right time.
WOW!!! Love how God works to bring us encouragement when we need it most!!
This encouraged me so much! Thank you, thank you, thank you! For sharing your heart, Kerri. God is reminding me that He is the One who totally gets it, totally cares, and totally loves me (all of me)! My season of loneliness and battling the lies of rejection has been producing an intimacy with the Lord that I treasure, and a humility that i could never muster on my own. He is good. He knows how to use the tough things to smooth out my rough edges. And he just used your words to encourage me in my process.
So glad this encouraged you Joanna! What a joy to see God work through the things He is teaching on person, to impact another! Praying for you!!