With Valentine’s Day around the corner, love is on our minds! And while this holiday usually emphasizes romantic love, it’s also a perfect time to reflect on how we can embody Christ’s love to those who are hurting or struggling.

When faced with the question of how to love others well, the best example is Jesus. He loved people as they were but refused to leave them that way. His love offered both acceptance and a call to transformation.

Jesus spent time with tax collectors and sinners, meeting them in their brokenness. But He didn’t change who He was to connect with them. His presence alone shifted the atmosphere and turned their hearts.

Maya Angelou’s words capture this well:

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

We can easily get caught up in trying to say the perfect thing (and avoid saying the “wrong thing” and forget that it’s our presence – the way we treat others that’s more important than anything.

But what does this look like? How do you practically love hurting people well? Here are a few principles to keep in mind:

  • Listen Carefully, Actively, and Prayerfully

Listening is a sacred act. When someone is vulnerable with you, imagine yourself on holy ground. Listen with one ear tuned to the person and one to the Holy Spirit. As Sarah Young wrote in Jesus Calling:

“When the Spirit empowers your listening and speaking, My streams of living water flow through you to other people.”

To listen well:

  • Be fully present. Make eye contact and give them your undivided attention.
  • Pray silently, asking God for wisdom as you listen.
  • Reflect back on what you hear to show empathy and ensure clarity.
  • Be Unshockable

Hurting people often carry heavy, messy stories. Your role is to remain steady, secure, and safe. Avoid reacting with shock, even if their story is hard to hear. A calm response communicates trustworthiness and stability, helping them feel safe.

  • Validate 

It’s not your job to verify the specifics of someone’s story. Instead, validate their emotions by saying something like, “I believe what you’re feeling is real and valid.”

Another way to ensure you are validating someone else’s story is to avoid saying, “I completely understand.” These words are often spoken out of a pure heart seeking to connect, but it can quickly diminish their unique experience. Before you share your story, hear theirs. Invite them to share their experience. And then, at the appropriate time, share yours. People want to know they’re not alone in what they’re going through but also need to know their experience is valued and their unique story is worth sharing.

  • Pray First

Before offering solutions, bring the situation to God in prayer. A simple response like, “Let’s go to God together and see what He wants to say,” can shift the focus to His wisdom rather than your own. Leave room for silence during prayer to allow space for Him to speak.

This Valentine’s Day, let’s remember that we’re called to a deeper kind of love—a love that reflects Jesus to the world around us. In your interactions with hurting or struggling people, don’t forget that your role isn’t to fix or save anyone—that’s God’s job. You’re called to shepherd people toward Him, creating a space where they feel safe, valued, and loved.

For more practical tools to love and minister to hurting and struggling people, check out our MPower training. Whether you want to access the eCourse or register for an upcoming training event, MPower equips you to love others with grace, truth, and wisdom.