I grew up in a very dysfunctional home. I hid my anger and pain by internalizing all my emotions, which led to a battle with self-harm. At school I was picked on for being quiet and shy. I became depressed and suicidal at age 8. My parents put me in sports to try to help, but I became obsessed with being the best. With all the pressure I put on myself to perform and my dysfunctional home life, I felt out of control. So I started controlling my food.
I was eventually forced to quit the swim team because of my eating disorder, which left me feeling like a failure. I got involved in the wrong crowd in high school and was introduced to drugs and alcohol. That was the beginning of my 13-year battle with addictions. I overdosed and attempted suicide many times, but God always saved me. At one point I found myself with a guy who was involved in sex trafficking. I was to be sold, but God intervened and I fought so hard that they let me go. I knew I desperately needed help or I wasn’t going to make it another year.
I found out about Mercy when Nancy Alcorn came to my church to speak. I knew I desperately needed help, and no other treatment program had worked for me, so I decided to apply. I was very guarded, angry and broken when I arrived at Mercy. I hated myself; therefore I couldn’t receive love from anyone else.
When I was finally able to forgive myself, I found freedom to give and receive love from others. Mercy has taught me that my past does not define my future and that every day I have a choice to make, and I choose life. I learned how to recognize the lies I believed all my life and attack those lies with God’s truth. I found my identity in Christ, and now I truly know what real relationship with God looks like.
Mercy has shown me that life is worth living and that there is no need to hate myself. I am a child of God. I am blessed, and I am free. Now, my ultimate goal is to serve God in everything I do. I want to become a motivational speaker and help others overcome their addictions through telling my story. I also want to pursue a degree in mental health.
Without Mercy, I would not be alive right now. My heart is so full of love for the people who give to Mercy, and I pray for the donors daily. People like you help hurting girls like me overcome pain and addictions. Thank you for obeying God and following your heart to give to Mercy.