I was born into a crazy and dysfunctional family. After experiencing a lot of abuse, Child Protective Services stepped in and placed me in a foster care. Soon after this, a great Christian family adopted me. They did their best to show me love, but the seed of rejection and pain was already planted and I started to build emotional walls around myself. After some time, I was a family member sexually abused me and later took his life. Even though I wasn’t fully sure what had happened, I blamed myself. I started to hide and be afraid. My dad got sick soon after and was in and out of the hospital. I was afraid to love someone who I might lose, so I shut off more emotions. When I was sexually abused by a neighbor, I broke. I blamed God and decided to hate him. Instead of turning to Him, I turned to the occult. When my parents found out about the occult activity I began to lie that I had been abused. I filled my life with masks and lies. I soon started to feel nothing and started to self-harm and restrict food. I went back to occult activity and became so fearful. I felt voiceless. I tried to end my life, but my parents stopped me. I went to meetings to try to find help, but I didn’t believe that God was stronger than Satan. I found my worth in relationships with girls and boys. I started doing drugs, drinking, and prostituting myself to pay for my habits. My lies started to build up and eventually blew up in my face. In anger I ran away. When the police found me, my parents sent me to boarding school. Even though I felt rejected and lonely, I put on a good girl act, but I left as soon as I turned 18. My parents were hurt and chose not to let me come home. I lived on the streets and quickly became pregnant after being taken advantage of. I had a miscarriage a few months later. I was at rock bottom. I joined YWAM hoping that my parents would see a change, but my heart wasn’t in it. After a year, I fell into old habits.
YWAM told me about Mercy and I decided to apply. I knew that I was going down a dark path again and chose to pursue healing. When I first got to mercy I never talked! I felt hopeless and fearful.
A turning point for me while I was at Mercy was when a ministry came to the home. I learned how to accept love. I felt so loved by everyone there and started to feel again. When I was asked to be a dog mom, I was able to learn how to love something.
God has given me hope. He has shown me how much He loves me and also where He was during my hard times. I was able to fall in love with God. I learned how to feel and be me without lies and masks.
After Mercy, I will be working at a preschool. I eventually want to return to YWAM and help sex-trafficked victims.
Thank you Mercy staff and donors for helping me get the freedom I thought I would never have!