Rebecca – 2015 Graduate

I was raped at five years old and sexually abused a few more times throughout my life. With the abuse, came years of shame, fear, and guilt. I was taken away from my family and placed in foster care. I was then adopted at nine years old. The shame and fear carried over into my new life. I still felt alone and afraid. I swore I was “fine,” but I felt like someone had tragically died, and I was all alone in the world. I started taking on a lot of false responsibility as a young child. I strived for perfection in every aspect of my life, but failed daily. I thought if I could love others deeper, they would fight harder to keep me around. People pleasing, fear of abandonment, rejection, and loss of control kept me in a constant state of depression and desperation. Loss of control was exactly what pushed me over the edge. I wasn’t in control at all. I needed God to be in control. Friends, family, drugs, self-harm, food – none of it was filling the empty broken place in my heart.

I’m unsure how I originally discovered Mercy, but I believe it was divine intervention. I applied to Mercy as my life was completely out of control, and I was preparing for death. I was in search of something to mend my heart back together. When I arrived to Mercy, I was fearful, controlling and had an attitude. I felt like God wouldn’t be able to save me. I was hopeless, and exhausted. I had pretty much accepted that transformation was not likely to happen for someone as undeserving as myself.

A major turning point for me while at Mercy was learning how to take my relationship with Christ from a legalistic, rigid friendship, to an intimate, nurturing and loving father-daughter relationship.

During my time at Mercy, God broke down the walls I had built around my heart and allowed his spirit to flood my soul. He took the shame, fear, sadness and self-hatred I had and showed me that His love never fails. I learned that if I stay plugged into God as my source, I can and WILL move mountains. There is power in my choice and power in the name of Jesus. What the enemy planned for harm, God took and turned it into good and restored my hope.

My plan after graduation from Mercy is to pay off my student loans so that I can go back to school. I hope to work with children and show them God’s unconditional love. I want to be able to show them the kind of love that Mercy has shown me.

To all those that support Mercy, I can’t express in words the kind of gratitude that goes into helping save a life. I am beyond blessed and so thankful for your obedience to God. I’m no longer a slave to fear, I am a child of God. I was saved, and now I’ve been given the opportunity to share God’s word and help multiply Mercy.