I grew up with a very protective mother and father. I knew about Jesus but didn’t have a personal relationship with Him. I love music and always had desires of being a singer. I started dating my best friend because of similar interests in singing and guitar. She and I got caught up in a relationship that challenged our beliefs in God. We broke up when we couldn’t handle the mental and emotion manipulation present in our relationship. I quit eating due to a void in my soul from the separation. I then started over-eating and purging along with over-exercising to make up for the responsibility of pleasing everyone with my appearance and finding my worth in what I did.
My pastor’s wife encouraged me to apply to Mercy, but I was ashamed and embarrassed. I knew I needed help, but I didn’t feel like I deserved help because I had never been through anything traumatic. I was a very performance-based person and loved to please everyone. I had no boundaries, became a doormat and wallowed in self-pity when I was alone.
God used a few guest speakers at Mercy to really bring breakthrough. One guest speaker, who comes monthly, changed my life on a Thursday morning. He said God cared more about me personally than what He created me for. Another speaker spoke personal purpose and value into my life. She told me God was restoring my voice and wasn’t going to use what I had done in the past to disqualify me from my future. She said I am going to be a hope giver and a bridge for people from death to life. I was filled with new hope for life.
Through my time at Mercy, God has restored relationships. and I have learned how to forgive myself and walk in freedom from disordered eating. I no longer carry resentment when asked to do something for someone because I have learned healthy boundaries in friendships and with family members.
After graduating from Mercy, I am planning on attending ministry school to cultivate my craft in worship leading. I look forward to getting married, having babies and traveling all over the world to share the good news of freedom and the love of Jesus Christ.