Growing up I experienced a lot of chaos and dysfunction. At the age of 5, I began experiencing sexual abuse that left me feeling confused and ashamed. Shortly after my grandfather died and I felt a tremendous amount of grief. At 8 years old, my parents divorced, and I moved in with my dad and stepmom. I felt anger and resentment. I felt betrayed by my mom and I felt disconnected from her. When I was 12, I was exposed to pornography and began engaging in unhealthy activities online. I felt unloved and rejected. In middle school, I began struggling with self-harm, depression, and an eating disorder. I felt completely broken and hopeless. My life continued spiraling out of control and I went in and out of 22 different treatment centers. I felt dirty, worthless, no good, and completely alone. I would go back into treatment, but nothing really changed. I would gain weight, seem to do better, go home, and go right back into my same patterns.
I applied to Mercy, but the first time I was not willing to change, and I just ended up back in treatment again. I felt so much shame thinking I failed God. My eating disorder became my identity and I attempted suicide. The nurses kept me alive and after I was discharged, I felt a tug on my heart to reapply back to Mercy and I did.
I walked in the doors of Mercy, a wreck. After putting up a fight, I learned to let my counselor in and let God in. I was very distant from God, I came to Mercy with the plan if I didn’t graduate or got kicked out I would to commit suicide.
While at Mercy, I felt God. I felt His presence, and I experienced healing. God showed me who He is and who I am. He revealed that all my pain was not His plan, and He was going to heal me and my heart. He showed me forgiveness, mercy, grace, and love. God healed me from a severe eating disorder and gave me a new identity in Him. God gave me a choice to choose life. God gave me a desire to live- a desire and love that I thought was long gone. I enjoy food again, and He set me free from a broken image of intimacy. He healed my very shattered and broken heart.
After Mercy I plan to finish school and get a job. Also, I really want to be a speaker and help others who were once like me.
To the donors, thank you so much for the support you have given me and so many other girls! Because of you, I was able to not be in a treatment facility and able to be in such a beautiful home for free and receive healing and find a new purpose and meaning to life.