Leona – 2017 Graduate

As a child, I was bullied by a few of my family members.  As a young girl, I spent many days alone, crying and feeling like I wasn’t loved. I was constantly being rejected, humiliated, and shamed for who I was. I spent my days trying to earn their love by doing whatever they asked of me, but no matter how much I did for them, it was never enough. I came to understand that I couldn’t trust anyone. When my younger sister was born, I treated her horribly. I was very angry with everything around me, and I internalized everything. When my oldest sister got married, I felt like my only true friend and defender was leaving me. I continued to try to seek love and approval, but felt very rejected, ugly, and fat. I soon discovered books and the enchanting world they created. I started to escape my pain by going into fantasy worlds. I dropped my studies and spent hours in my bed everyday dreaming up new fantasy worlds. My oldest sister told me that she was moving, and I was heartbroken. During that summer, I invested my life into an online game. I got sucked into the drama. I thought I had found myself a “family” to love me, but all I got was hurt. I fell into a bad depression. I started self-harming, and I hated myself completely. I believed I was worthless, unloved, and uncared for. I attempted suicide by overdose. My family didn’t understand what I was going through. I was depressed, and I fought with them often. A year later, I started actively engaging in a very bad eating disorder. I tried to fill my heart by getting into an online relationship. He was very possessive, but I thought that was love. After a few months, he suggested I come visit him in in another country, and that he would buy my plane ticket home. I started making plans to run away from my life for a life with him. My sister was very concerned, and I ended up breaking up with him. I decided to move in with my sister and her husband. My severe eating disorder continued. I thought that by moving away from home, my problems would go away. I started going to counseling to help find healing, but I stopped after a while. Work became very hectic and stressful, and I began having panic attacks. My doctor prescribed medication, which I saved and contemplated suicide. I felt like I had no safe place. I was hospitalized, put on more medicine, and sent home after I was stable. When I got home, I searched and searched for a place to get help.

I learned about Mercy Multiplied from my counselor. I decided to apply when I was sent to the mental hospital the second time. I really didn’t want to, but I decided I had no other choice.

During my Mercy journey, a turning point for me was when I learned that praying with Mercy staff really helped me. I learned so much about God during those moments. God has set me free from all my pain and my past. I no longer am controlled by the devil.

After Mercy, I hope to go to culinary school and become a chef. I also hope to come back to Mercy to work as a staff member and help other girls.

Mercy donors, thank you so much. You have no idea just how much your support really does help the lives of so many girls. Without your help, I wouldn’t have been able to find such freedom. Mercy is a saving place for so many people. Your donations change the lives of everyone who walks though these doors. Thank you so very much.