Lea – 2016 Graduate
My family was Catholic, and we went to church every Sunday until I was in first grade. I did not enjoy it or learn anything about God. In first grade I started competitive gymnastics and began really hating school. My father was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease when I was in 4th grade, and the transition was hard for him and our family as a whole. As a ten year old, I had to take on a lot more responsibility than all my friends. Throughout elementary and middle school I continued to participate in competitive gymnastics. My best friend and I were both gymnasts and inseparable until early junior high when she began hanging out with another group of friends. I felt rejected and consumed with sadness. The sadness then turned into depression, and I also started really hating my body. Being in gymnastics leaves little to hide, and I was gaining weight. My reaction to this was to start watching what I ate a little more carefully and exercise a little more, nothing too serious. The summer after 7th grade I trained for a half marathon with my mom. When I finished the race, I felt like I found something to fill the gap that I felt deep down. My eating became a lot more limited. Everyone I knew was so happy for me, with my newfound passion for running and eating healthy. My sadness was still there, but with all the praise I was getting, it made me feel so much more worthy. I began running before school and after school, still maintaining an intensive gymnastics schedule. I constantly felt fatigued and lethargic. Instead of focusing my time and energy on gymnastics, I was much more concerned with getting my runs in. My mom eventually took me to a doctor to address my fatigue and depression. My doctor suggested I eat more, especially fruits and vegetables, so I had more energy for my running, and then maybe I wouldn’t be as depressed. I outwardly complied, but I didn’t change anything. I continued my daily pattern and was consumed with running at least 10 miles a day. The summer before ninth grade I felt like a totally different Lea than I had known my entire life. Instead of going to gymnastics every day and then having sleepovers with my friends, I was completely isolated and all alone day in and day out. I maintained an intense running schedule and also cultivated a newfound interest in cooking. I would cook and bake daily, but I refused to eat any of it, making it for other people. I found myself thinking about food 24/7. This made me miserable. Even though I felt a persistent gnawing hunger in my stomach, I just couldn’t get myself to eat anything more than the minimal that I “allowed” myself.
I began counseling, and around that time, my grandmother passed away. This was the most devastating thing that had ever happened in my life. My therapist eventually told my mom that if I lost any more weight we should seriously consider sending me to the hospital. Sure enough, I dropped more weight. I entered inpatient treatment the first time in complete denial. I stayed for two and a half weeks and then was finally discharged. I actually did pretty well for about three months. However, I eventually slipped right back into old patterns and found myself back in the hospital. This was the beginning of a cycle of hospital, inpatient and residential program stays.
Feeling more hopeless than ever, my mom’s friend told her about this place called Mercy Multiplied. At that point, I honestly was up to try anything. Throughout the application process I continued to battle. The phone call of my long-awaited entry date to Mercy was one of the first ounces of hope I felt in many years. I entered the doors of Mercy excited and terrified.
A major turning point for me was accepting Christ as my Savior and learning who I am in Christ. I now know that I am already loved fully and accepted fully by God. He created me perfectly, just as he wanted to.
God totally changed my life while I was at Mercy. He healed me of the eating disorder I thought was going to kill me. Before Mercy I was absolutely hopeless. He has given me hope, joy and excitement for the future! Now I am able to actually live on my own, without being in a hospital or treatment. I never thought I would be able to say that!
After graduating from Mercy I plan to finish school. I want to become a preacher, helping other girls learn who they are in Christ. I want to tell how He transforms lives and gives hope. I also really want to be a mommy! My dream is to simply serve the Lord in all things He leads me to! I am His!
Thank you for your donations to Mercy! I cannot tell you how much I needed to come to a place like this – free of charge – to get my life back, no matter how long it took. The eating disorder I struggled with for so many years was so miserable that if I hadn’t come to Mercy, I would definitely be dead right now. Without people like you faithfully giving, lives couldn’t be transformed and hope could not be restored. THANK YOU!!!