Lauren – 2015 Graduate

I grew up in a typical Christian home, but many lies took root throughout my childhood and family experiences. I believed that I had to be perfect, earn peoples’ love, and be responsible for everything and everyone. When I was about 12, I was told I was medically obese and needed to lose weight. I was self-conscious about my weight for most of my life. Eventually I broke and started starving myself, but I “failed” at that, too. So I started to self-harm to punish myself and release all of my built-up emotions. I continued to spiral downwards, but I kept my issues a secret as best as I could. I was eventually swallowed by the darkness and depression in my head. I almost took my life on one occasion. I was at rock bottom and had lost all hope for a future.

My mom had heard about Mercy through a Joyce Meyer interview with Nancy Alcorn. I couldn’t afford any residential programs or any more intensive programs. I was desperate for help, and Mercy was my last hope.

When I arrived at Mercy, I was more broken than I realized, but I hid it from everyone. I was scared to be myself and scared to explore the darkness that was hidden deep inside me. I hated myself and didn’t think I was worth it. I didn’t know who I was and didn’t know how to live.

I didn’t realize how much I was emotionally struggling and how unhealthy my relationships were, until I had to face the consequences of some of my actions while in the program. I finally decided to really work on being responsible for me and stop trying to fix others.

Since then, God has shown me who He really is. He has lavished His unconditional love on me. He has held my hand and walked me through some of my greatest struggles. He has gently shown me my blind spots and my hurts. He has shown me how worth it I am and how beautiful I am. I am worthy and loved, but not because of anything I have done. He has freely given me everything—I can’t earn it or lose it. I am secure in who He is because I am His!

After Mercy, I hope to go to college for a degree in youth ministry and business. I want to help those who feel like they have no hope left. I want to work with youth and show them how great our God is and how loved and valued they are. I would also like to get involved in missions. Eventually, I hope find an amazing man of God and get married and have a beautiful family of my own.

To those who support Mercy, thank you so incredibly much for everything you give to this ministry! I honestly think if it weren’t for Mercy, I would have been lost to the darkness and eventually would have taken my life. I am so grateful for all you sacrifice so that I could come to this safe place and heal. You are amazing and such an incredible blessing. Thank you so, so much!