I was adopted the day I was born and grew up with my sister who was seven years older than me. My dad was a pastor, and my childhood was pretty normal until I turned eight. My family traveled to Rwanda to adopt my brothers. Two-and-a-half months later, our lives took a drastic turn after a combination of events took place: my mom became very sick and was eventually bed-ridden and handicapped, my dad was forced to resign from his job, causing him to become severely depressed and emotionally absent, and I had people constantly in and out of my house to help with my brothers. My sister was rarely around. During all of this, I felt rejected and ignored by my family. Instead of being with my family, I chose to hangout with some of my neighborhood “friends,” who would verbally abuse me. When I started 6th grade, I thought that things would get better, but I was wrong. I got bullied a lot and began using self-harm to numb my pain. I left my school to be home-schooled, but my destructive coping mechanisms stayed with me. I tried to hide it, but my mom found out. She tried to help me, but I only pushed her away. The people I hung out with only made my life worse. They told me to continue to self-harm, and I listened to them. When I was 13, my parents told me that my dad got a new job. I was excited, but scared at the same time. Once we moved, I didn’t make any friends for a year. My only friends were my dad’s co-workers. My mom saw how miserable I was, so she dragged me to my church’s youth group. There I made some really good friends, and for the first time since we moved I was happy. Shortly after I turned 15, I met a guy. We became really close, really fast. Everyone told me that he wasn’t good for me, but I wanted to find that out for myself. In the middle of my relationship with him, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and I was still self-harming. It took him cheating on me and lying to me to realize that he wasn’t a good guy. This sent me into the darkest place of my life. I had no motivation whatsoever. I was depressed and tried to kill myself multiple times. I was consumed by so many lies, and I just didn’t care about anything.
My parents knew something needed to be done. They told me about Mercy, along with some other options. Mercy seemed like the best one, so I applied. I got my entry date a few months later. I continued my harmful behaviors up until two weeks before I arrived to the Nashville home.
After I had been at Mercy for about a month, I had a breakthrough. I realized that I had emotions and learned that it was okay to have them. I began to realize it was okay to cry, or be mad, or upset. It felt foreign to me that emotions were completely normal and that God made them!
I walked through the doors of Mercy not really knowing what to expect. I was overwhelmed by the love, grace and mercy of the staff. I learned that I don’t have to punish myself because Jesus paid the price for my sins. I also learned to embrace who God created me to be.
After Mercy, I plan to finish high school, volunteer in my church, and love on my family. I also hope to go to college and eventually work at my church!
Thank you Mercy staff and donors for supporting me throughout my journey. You are the reason that I got to come to Mercy!