I grew up in a somewhat dysfunctional home with my mom and my two sisters. My dad was sent to jail when I was young and spent the majority of my childhood behind bars. I experienced sexual abuse from first grade through high school, and the abuse I experienced caused me to believe I was dirty, helpless and worthless. To numb the overwhelming pain I was in, I turned to self-harm, eating disorder tendencies, obsessive compulsive behaviors and a perfectionist attitude. I tried a couple of times to end my life, but I was unsuccessful in each attempt.I found out about Mercy through a counselor I saw for a short period of time after I graduated from high school. A year or so later, because of the destructive lifestyle I was living, my co-workers, the family I was living with, and some people from my church strongly encouraged me to apply. I knew I had reached my lowest point and that my actions were negatively impacting my loved ones. When I arrived at Mercy, I had a very broken and hardened heart that I tried to cover up with layers and layers of masks. I believed no one was trustworthy and that I was unlovable. I was fun-loving and carefree on the outside, but internally I was completely numb and void of emotion.
I remember a time at Mercy when I was sitting with my counselor and explaining a traumatic event in my life, expecting her to dismiss it as unimportant or insignificant, the way I had in my mind for years. Instead, she sat next to me and simply acknowledged the experience and the pain I was feeling as valid. This was one of the first and most healing moments I had at Mercy. I realized that if my counselor actually cared that much, God, who knew my pain all along, must also care.
While at Mercy, God taught me so much about healing and freedom, especially in the area of grace. I learned that I can never do anything to earn or lose His love for me. Through grace, God loves even the ugliest parts of me and my story. God has healed me of all the hurt caused by untrustworthy people and abuse. He has eliminated my shame and guilt and has blessed me with a healthy confidence and an overall excitement for life. God has also taught me so much about choosing to forgive. I learned that I could not truly forgive someone until I had allowed myself to feel the hurt of the offense. By restoring my emotions, God taught me healthy and appropriate ways to express them. This process allowed me to forgive Him, myself, and the harmful people from my past.
After graduating from Mercy, God gave me the opportunity to minister and love others in the inner-city. He has redeemed the violence that I grew up in, in a way that multiplies His love to so many! God is using my story to change other people’s stories!
I would like to thank the Mercy supporters for the changed life they have allowed me to have. I wish I could hug every single person involved with Mercy! God has used them to revive my heart more than I ever imagined possible. My life is forever changed, and I cannot wait for the opportunity to give back to Mercy.