Kirsten – 2016 Graduate
I grew up with divorced parents and knew what
it was like to live in a Christian home when I was with my mom. Both of my parents remarried, and I got used to switching back and forth between these two new families. I had two new siblings, a step brother on my step dad’s side, and a step sister on my step mom’s side. I didn’t like going to my dad’s house on the weekends because of the lifestyle there. My dad and step mom drank all the time and when they were drunk, it was either really funny or really scary. At my mom’s house, she and my step dad tried their best to build a Christian environment at home. When I got to middle school, I started feeling hopeless and depressed. I began self-harming at the age of 12 and started having sexual interactions with a guy when I was 13. In January of 8th grade, my dad was sent to jail for molesting my step sister. I felt crushed and continued self-harming and finding more places to do it and keep it hidden. I became really dark—I had always believed in heaven and hell, and I thought I was destined to go to hell. I fell in love with the idea of hell and started hating God for allowing me to do the things I was doing. My mind was so twisted. I grew darker and darker and got extremely involved with occult activities. I started sleeping around with guys I just met because I felt that that was all I was good for. I believed that my body was an object for guys to use and abuse. Around the same time my dad went to prison, I began binging and purging. I lost a lot of weight and worked out constantly at my cheer gym and at home. I started to restrict my food intake and quickly became anorexic and bulimic. These habits continued until I came to Mercy. My youth pastor called my mom because people found out about what I was doing. My mom and step dad confronted me about what was happening, but I lied, denying everything. Eventually they got some of the truth out of me. They told me that my youth pastor recommended a place that I could go to for free, Mercy Multiplied.
I initially agreed to go to Mercy, not because I wanted to, but because I thought I could use a good vacation away from my family. The first month I was super angry. This was definitely not the vacation I thought it would be. I snapped at everybody who walked past me. After a month and a half in the program, I realized that it was time for me to change by owning up to my issues. I went to the prayer room one night and asked God for forgiveness and peace. I was tired of feeling angry and evil all the time. God gave me peace and I gave my life to Christ that night. Right away I felt different; I was actually happy! I became free of my eating disorder and self-harm behaviors.
I am no longer living in darkness. I am filled with the light and love of the Holy Spirit! I love life now. Without Mercy, there’s a good chance that I would be dead.
After Mercy, I will start my senior year of high school. After I graduate, I’m going to go to cosmetology school to learn how to do hair, while also going to community college for two years to get my core classes done. I hope to eventually get my degree in art education to teach in elementary schools. I also plan on getting more involved with my church. I will continue to love God and love life.
I am so thankful for Mercy Multiplied! Thank you so much to the Mercy donors and staff for your support. Although I never got to meet you face-to-face, you are a part of my healing at Mercy.