I was raised in a really loving, Christian home. I did a lot of moving during the core years of my childhood, so I often felt out of place, unnoticed and unaccepted. These feelings led to my fear of rejection. I became promiscuous with boys and compromised my values with them. I was very insecure, so I tried to get approval and attention through my looks. These feelings caused me to restrict food and eventually purge — especially whenever I felt like a failure. I tried finding ways to escape through things like drinking, but it was no help. I was still unhappy, so I became very isolated and almost completely shut myself off from everything and everyone. I felt miserable.
I found out about Mercy from my mom. Some of her friends knew girls who had been through the program, and she arranged for me to speak with one of them. Eventually, I applied and was accepted. When I arrived, I really had no hope for a better life and was not a happy person. I was very reserved in my communication with other people and with God.
While I was at Mercy, I began to see God on a personal level. I was simultaneously becoming more vulnerable, which allowed me to let Him and others in. As my life became more joyful with God in it, He began to change me into a new person. I no longer wanted to participate in any of the self-defeating behaviors that originally brought me to Mercy. Instead, I wanted to live the life that God has made especially for me.The more I began to discover who God is, the more I uncovered and unleashed who I am. As I filled my head and heart with the words of God, the lies were pushed out and eventually disappeared. When I accepted my shortcomings, I was able to stop trying to be perfect. Instead, I found that God was the only perfect One. This also allowed me to get rid of the impossible standard I placed on my body and allowed me to focus on internal beauty, which glorifies God and can be used for the good of others. I learned I have a voice and also how to confront issues instead of being a people pleaser. I have also learned the importance of relationships and that I can choose God’s way instead of allowing Satan to have control.
After I graduate from Mercy, I plan on moving back home, getting a job and eventually attending college. I also want to get involved in a church. I also have a desire to go on international mission trips. Even though I do not have my future all figured out yet, I have peace about what is to come,and I know that God has special plans for me. I am really excited to finally be able to enjoy life and to help others know God! I hope to open the eyes of others to the life Mercy has shown me.
Mercy has changed my life forever. I am beyond thankful for all the generous people who do not even know me, but are willing to donate to Mercy in hopes that I would turn my life around for God. I would never be where I am today without the opportunity to come to Mercy, and I would like to make that happen for other girls someday too!