Illena – 2017 Graduate

Growing up, I was emotionally and verbally abused by my parents. I became filled with fear and guilt. I struggled to find my identity. In college I was in several abusive relationships. When those relationships ended, I did everything to numb the pain I felt. I started using drugs and drinking alcohol. I began self-harming multiple times a day. I was depressed and suicidal. I attempted to take my life several times. After these attempts, I was diagnosed with a multitude of disorders. I felt bad about myself. I was filled with guilt, shame, and self-hatred.

I heard about Mercy Multiplied through my grandparents. My grandparents have supported Mercy for years. I applied because I was desperate. I was completely shut down. I put walls up, and I was terrified of everything.

Before Mercy, when I was on probation, I wrote an acrostic for my name, and it perfectly described how I felt and saw about myself. I used to be Illena: Ignorant, Lame, Loser, Existing to let people down, Not worth it, Am not able to succeed. A turning point in my Mercy journey was when I was able to grow my relationship with God, when I let go of my past and chose life!

During my time at Mercy, God completely restored my relationship with my parents. He gave me excitement for life that I’ve never had before. God helped me see myself in a new way.

Now I am Illena: Incredibly brave, Loved, Living in the light, “Existing” no more — thriving, No longer a slave to fear, Am full of purpose.

After Mercy, I will work in a counseling center and finish my college degree. One day I hope to travel the world and do missions and share the amazing work God has done in my life.

To all the Mercy supporters, I can’t begin to thank you for making this possible for me. If Mercy Multiplied wasn’t available, I wouldn’t have found the freedom that I didn’t even know was possible.