The start of a new year often brings the pressure to set big resolutions—and, let’s be honest, the overwhelming feeling that we likely will not stick to them. It’s funny that so many of us jump on the “New Year’s Resolutions” train year in and year out, knowing full well that sticking to those resolutions will likely be short-lived. That’s why I’m shifting focus this coming year and would encourage you to consider the same: instead of resolutions, let’s talk about habits.
Two books I read this year—Atomic Habits by James Clear and Habits of the Household by Justin Whitmel Earley—have completely changed how I think about habits and rhythms, specifically how they relate to personal growth.
One thing that stood out from Atomic Habits is how small, intentional changes can lead to significant results. James Clear talks about getting “1% better every day” and how even a tiny improvement in how we handle our mornings, relationships, or spiritual practices can add up to a huge transformation over time.
Clear also challenges us to focus on who we want to become. Instead of saying, “I want to pray more,” try asking, “What would a prayerful person do?” When we align our habits with our identity, they’re much more likely to stick.
In the same way, habits often reflect our values. Whether it’s setting aside tech-free times during dinner or ending each day with a gratitude practice, these intentional choices can transform our personal lives and the atmosphere of our homes—and they’re likely easier to build than we think.
In Habits of the Household, Justin Whitmel Earley talks about routines in our homes—intentional and accidental—and how they shape family culture. I love his perspective that “the heart always follows the habit.” He talks about habits as “liturgies of worship” because when you consider personal spiritual formation, we are formed less by what we say out of our mouths and much more by what we practice and do. The rhythms we create at home, like bedtime prayers or sharing a meal without distractions, aren’t just routines; they’re opportunities to connect with God and grow spiritually.
Clear unpacks many practical tools for building good habits, but one of my favorites is his concept of “habit stacking,” which is based on the idea that you usually decide what to do next based on what you just finished doing. You simply tie a new habit to something you’re already regularly doing. For example, “After I make my morning coffee, I’ll read my Bible.” Or “When I buy a new item of clothing, I will give one away.” It’s simple but powerful.
Another game-changer is creating an environment that supports your habits. If you are trying to build a new habit, you should create a “cue” that is an obvious part of your environment. For example, if you want to drink more water, leave water bottles where you’ll see them throughout the day. If you’re trying to establish a quiet time, set your Bible and journal in a spot where you’ll see them each morning.
Of course, not all habits are beneficial to our lives. I’ve learned from Clear’s research that bad habits stick around because they usually offer some immediate reward. To change unhealthy habits, we need to figure out the deeper need those habits are meeting and address that need instead.
For example, if you reach for your phone when you’re stressed, ask yourself, “What am I really looking for?” It could be connection or perhaps rest. By identifying the underlying need, you can replace the habit with something more life-giving—like journaling, praying, or spending time with a friend.
Do you want to focus on habits instead of resolutions this year? If so, here’s a challenge for this week:
- Look at your current routines. What’s working, and what’s not working?
- Pick one habit to start building and one to let go of.
- Keep it simple! A five-minute gratitude session as a family or putting your phone away during dinner can make a big difference.
As we move into this year, let’s rethink how we approach personal growth. It’s not about setting unattainable goals or striving for perfection. Instead, it’s about building rhythms that align with who we want to be and the values we want to instill in our lives and homes.
Let’s make 2025 the year we focus on what truly matters, one small habit at a time!
We’re talking about these concepts and MANY more practical steps in detail on the MercyTalk podcast this month, so if this resonates with you, be sure to tune in. This series is packed with insights and tips to help you take small steps toward big changes.