Gracen – 2016 Graduate

I’m proud to be a small town girl, born and raised. I was blessed to have a close-knit family who planted the seed of Christ into my life by raising me in the church. However, it was a seed that wouldn’t truly take root until many years later. I can’t tell you at exactly what age, but I began to see myself as unlovable. In the beginning I tried to overcome this self-hatred by attempting to be the best at all that I did. On the outside it looked as though I had the perfect life. At 16 I was involved in a horrible car wreck that left police shocked that I was alive, let alone able to walk. Three days later, tragedy struck when my granddaddy committed suicide. I was shocked and went deeper into studies and activities. I couldn’t bear to focus on death, so I all put all my focus on excelling at life. No one could see past the mask that I had permanently painted on. I was Senior Class President, Chairman of National Honor Society, undefeated in tennis, Homecoming Queen, chosen as one of few to go out for my state’s Homecoming Queen, and accepted into my first-pick college. My life was filled with success, yet my entire being was consumed by a pit of emptiness. When I went off to college, I began drinking and dabbling in drugs. Before I knew it, I was not only buying drugs but dealing as well. I was in one bad relationship after another. My life had become of cycle of heartache until I found myself in a situation I couldn’t get out of. I remember feeling terrified, helpless and lost with no way to reach out. By the grace of God, my friends tracked me down. After crying for days, numbness set in. The only emotion I was capable of feeling was anger. I hid this trauma from my parents for months until finally telling my mother. I began therapy, but continued to feel responsible for what had happened. I began to fall into an eating disorder and self-harm and fell deeper into alcoholism and addiction. I sought out other programs before Mercy and didn’t see any freedom. I believe with all my heart that God wanted to show me that He was the only way to freedom.

My mom heard about Mercy through Joyce Meyer Ministries. It’s hard to explain, but when I saw the name of Mercy Multiplied on the list of programs, I was just drawn to it. When I arrived I was focused, determined and ready to make a change.

In the beginning of my journey, I took on the labels I had been given in my past: bipolar, borderline personality disorder, PTSD, alcoholic, addict, binger, bulimic, suicidal, and homicidal. But a major shift came when I came to know Christ on a personal level. My family and I both changed simultaneously while being thousands of miles apart.

Through Mercy I found happiness, confidence and love for myself like I had never experienced. I’m free from all the labels that once defined me. Today I have overcome all titles and am no longer on any meds. I now have only one label. It’s a label that I’m proud to speak out. Where the devil used to cling, he now flees because I am a child of God.

Following Mercy, I will be returning home, eager to spend time with family. While at Mercy God gave me my calling. So, I plan to complete my bachelor’s degree and go on to law school. I want to join an organization to help with victims of sex trafficking.

To all the Mercy supporters, your generosity saved my life. Jesus paid the price for my sins. You paid the price to bring me to a place where I was able to receive that freedom.