Emily – 2015 Graduate

I was born into a Christian family. In school I was bullied and had a hard time making friends. This left me feeling out of place and like there was something wrong with me. My family moved a few times as my parents worked as house parents in children’s homes with troubled teens. I often felt like I was losing my parents’ attention. I began taking on a lot of responsibility for my sister, feeling the need to protect her. However, I didn’t feel like I had anyone to protect me, and I self-harmed for the first time during that season. When I was in fifth grade, I started playing sports and I soon began getting the attention from my dad that I craved. At school the bullying escalated, and I was soon being physically and emotionally brought down. I hated school. I became depressed, but no one noticed. I hated God because I didn’t know why bad things still happened to me, despite being a “good girl.” I felt invisible. I poured myself into school and became involved in sports and extracurricular activities while maintaining all A’s. When a very unhealthy relationship ended the summer before my freshman year, I became obsessed with how I looked. I worked out all summer and ate super healthy, but sadly that still wasn’t enough for me, so I stopped eating. When my parents and coaches noticed my behavior, I was embarrassed and frustrated. My solution was to turn to purging.  I got back together with my ex-boyfriend, and he began emotionally abusing me, which started feeding into my eating disorder as well. He pressured me into being more physical than I was comfortable with, but I was so afraid he would break up with me.  My eating disorder and self-harming became a way for me to find control and allowed me to give myself the punishment I thought I deserved. I became increasingly promiscuous. My parents found me a counselor, and I told everyone I was getting better while my life spiraled out of control. I began making a suicide plan, but the week I was going to act on it, my school announced that there was going to be a Valentine’s dance. For some reason I wanted to live until then. A week before the dance, my parents found my phone and found out everything. I tried to run away, afraid they would keep me from killing myself. I was eventually admitted to the hospital.  When I left, I was extremely depressed and had everything taken away from me. I was no longer in school. Most days I couldn’t make it out of bed or eat. This was when my parents found out about Mercy.

My guidance counselor at school found a flyer for Mercy and thought of me. She told my parents about it, and I eventually decided to apply. I felt as if I had no other options left. When I arrived I was shy, depressed, afraid, confused, and angry. I tried my best to keep to myself.

A big turning point for me while I was at Mercy was when I decided to fully surrender everything to God. I tried to keep so many things from Him when I started the program, but when I finally gave them over, amazing things started to happen.

While I was at Mercy, God restored my happiness. He gave me confidence and value that I never dreamed of having. I’ve learned that I don’t have to be perfect to be loved by my maker. God has also restored relationships that I never thought could be restored. The most important thing that I gained is a beautiful relationship with Christ!

After graduating from Mercy, I am going back to high school. I am not sure what career I want to pursue, but I plan on going to college. In the future I want to have a ministry that helps girls addicted to pornography.

To all the Mercy donors, thank you so much for your support. Because of you, my life has been miraculously changed! I never thought freedom was possible, but Mercy and God have set me free! My family never would’ve been able to afford a place like Mercy, but because of you, hundreds of girls get to experience total restoration, free of charge! Thank you!