When I was eight years old, I found out that the person I thought was my dad was not my dad; my biological dad actually abandoned me when I was a baby. Then I started being physically abused by someone close to me on a daily basis which left me feeling very unloved and unwanted. I felt like I had done something to deserve it. I was sexually abused at the age of 12 by someone at school. This caused a lot of shame and guilt, which led me to begin self-harming. I was raped 3 different times; when I was 15,19, and 21. This caused a lot of pain, shame, guilt, depression and worthlessness. I really felt that I was only good to be used and abused. I started partying, drinking and doing drugs to try and numb all the pain I was in. I honestly didn’t really care whether I lived or died.
I heard about Mercy after hearing Nancy Alcorn speak at multiple women’s conferences. I knew that I needed to come to Mercy because I didn’t know how to deal with and process everything that had happened in my life. When I first arrived, I was a very numb person and honestly had no idea how to really feel any feelings because I had suppressed and numbed them for so long. A big turning point in my time here was when God switched my thinking from a victim mentality to a survivor mentality. God has broken down every wall that I had built up and He has broken every chain that held me down. He has shown me who I am in Him and that my worth doesn’t come from man, but it comes from Him.
After Mercy, I plan to go to college to get my degree in counseling or a law degree. I want to help those who don’t have a voice. I want to be a light for God in a dark world. I am incredibly grateful for Mercy and everyone who supports Mercy, because I have now found complete freedom from my past. I now have hope for my future. I know that my past does not define me.