Colleen – 2013 Graduate

I was born to a loving Christian father and a hurting mother along with my identical twin sister. Not long into my life I lost my birth mom to many different addictions. My step mom came into the picture when I was four and I was desperate for the love of a mother. I grew up going to church and I gave my life to Christ when I was 6 years old but it was not until later in life when I would learn what it meant to have a relationship with Christ. I struggled a lot with my relationship with my step mom, and I struggled with having my own identity outside of my twin sister. In 7th grade my ten-year battle with self harm started and once high school hit I had a very rebellious spirit. I experimented with drinking, ditching class and smoking pot. I was a good student and very involved in many extracurricular activities, including faithfully going to youth group at church. But my relationship with God wasn’t good at all. I went to college at a private Christian university, but was still in a lot of pain and did not know why. At school I was introduced to more intense drinking, partying and sexual sin. I was still struggling with self-harm and had developed an eating disorder as well. I was put on probation, but also given lots of grace when I would try to pursue God more. After many ups and downs, a lot of anxiety, counseling appointments and a trip to the psych ward for being a danger to self, I finally graduated with a degree in speech therapy. Once I graduated, I lost all accountability and quickly fell back into my eating disorder and self-harm.

I found out about Mercy from my cousin. I decided to apply because i knew that i could not keep living the way I was and I also knew that I could not find freedom on my own. I had tried and always fell back into my old, or new addictions. I also knew that i wanted to be in a place that was faith-bases because i knew a lot of my emptiness i was feeling was spiritual emptiness and i needed a relationship with God. Plus, I did not have the funds to go to other treatment programs. When I first arrived I was very stubborn. I fought a lot. I had a hard time with meals at first but finally complied with the program. I was hurting, scared and desperate when I arrived. I was also in a major spiritual battle for my soul and this caused me to feel very suicidal. I knew I need help and applied for Mercy.

While at Mercy God has completely transformed my life. He has filled me with so much joy I can hardly contain it at times. God also lit a fire inside of me to go out and to help people, light fires in others and hopefully start a healing revival. God showed me that He created ne to be a leader and not a follower and he has given me a confidence of who I am in Christ and the power and strength he has placed inside me. At Mercy I learned that I have a choice and only I can make the right one. I learned the power of the tongue and how I have to speak truth against Satan to defeat him. I learned to accept the way I look and I know that I am beautiful and the apple of Gods eye. God delights in me, I am His bride. Here at Mercy I learned all of the tools I need to live a healthy life, the one that God intended me to live. I learned how to break free, stay free, and help God set others free. I learned how to dream again and how to be joyful. My emotions do not control me anymore. Through Mercy God created another disciple and now he is sending me out into the world to do His work.

My plans after graduation are to go home, and spend time with my family. I have not been able to spend more than a few weeks with them for the last few years and have not been healthy around them in a long time so I want to spend time with them before I settle elsewhere. I will hopefully be working at a summer camp as a counselor and activity instructor. After that I am going to be doing the world race which a mission trip where I will be visiting 11 countries in 11 months, so a lot of time will be spent fundraising for that. In the far future I know that God has called me to change lives, be a missionary, write books and have a beautiful God chasing family.

Thank you Nancy for listening to the calling God placed in your life. I am another miracle on the other side of your obedience. I can honestly say that without Mercy I would not have learned how to find freedom and I would not have discovered the power God placed inside me. Mercy shaped me into a God- fearing woman, the woman that God created me to be. Because of you and Mercy I got my voice back. Satan tried for so long to take it away from me but I learned that I have power inside of me and God has set me on fire to bring justice to His nations. Thank you for allowing me to be here and showing me that I do matter and that I can make a difference. Thanks you for showing me that I have a choice and that my addictions do not control me. I want to say thank you to all of the donors for providing the funds that made it possible for me to be here. Your donations saved my life and will save the lives of so many after me. Words will never be able to express my gratitude or describe the work God has done in me through Mercy.