My parents divorced when I was three, and my father was never really involved in my life. My mom got remarried when I was five, which caused a lot of strife in our home. At the age of 12, I was diagnosed with depression, and it began to really control my life. Not long afterward I was introduced to pornography, and that became a way of escape I turned to daily. I lost my virginity to a verbally abusive guy when I was only 15. My self-esteem was very low. I felt like I was only good for sex and gave myself to any guy who would give me attention. When I began college, my depression and anxiety got worse. I began living a promiscuous lifestyle, sleeping with different guys, partying, drinking and smoking marijuana every night. I would skip class and sleep all day. I was on the verge of failing out of school and eventually dropped out. When I was 19, I began to date an older guy who was a drug dealer. I eventually moved in with him. For two years, while he was in and out of jail, he drugged me and pimped me out to other men. I felt my purpose in life was to make him happy, so I did as he asked. In April of 2015, I reached the end of my rope. I self-harmed for the first time and drank an entire pint of tequila, washing down multiple different kinds of prescription drugs. I was admitted into the hospital for a week and was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and Codependency. I went home to live with my family.
I found out about Mercy through a couple of pastors who are friends with my grandparents. I decided to apply because I felt like I had hit the end of my road. I was hopeless and done with life. I felt like there was no reason to live. I was ashamed of what I had done and what had been done to me.
A huge turning point during my time at Mercy was learning about the principle of renewing my mind with God’s Word. I started taking my negative thoughts captive and learned to stop dwelling on flashbacks or bad memories from my past. I completely turned my thoughts to God and what He has for my life. I soon realized my value and purpose.
While I was at Mercy, God did a complete turn-around in my heart. I feel whole for the first time in my life. I feel His presence and love for me as one of His daughters. I’ve learned to distinguish God’s voice, and it’s been amazing! I’ve really learned that God has a greater purpose for my life! I now want what He wants for my future!
After graduating from Mercy, I will be going back home for a short time. I’ll be getting involved in a new church and the various ministries they offer. I plan to move and start school again, as God opens the doors. I want to finish up my Bachelor of Science degree to become a Registered Nurse. I also have a huge passion for ending human trafficking and want to become an advocate and raise awareness for those who don’t have a voice.
Thank you so much to the staff and donors for all you do for the girls at Mercy. I appreciate it all! You make us feel so special and loved! This program is what changed my life and brought me back to God.