Shame is a powerful emotion and can speak louder than truth in our lives. It can trick us into believing things that are not true of our identity and convince us that there is something inherently wrong with who we are. Amy, 2008 Mercy graduate, examines a realization she had and her conscious decision to listen each day to the Voice of Truth.
“Who told you that you were fat?”
I remember thinking this after I read Genesis 3:11 for the first time. In this passage, Adam and Eve are hiding from God. They knew that they had messed up after eating the forbidden fruit, so they hid. God says, “Where are you?” And Adam says, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”
God then answers, “Who told you that you were naked?”
Growing up… No one told me that I was fat.
No one told me that my music wouldn’t make it.
No one told me that I would never be good enough.
But even if they had, I BELIEVED THESE THINGS.
Where did this condemning, dark, demeaning and insulting voice come from?
At a young age, I believed the voice of a traitor. The voice of a liar.
I have believed this voice for much of my life. It led me down a path that destroyed the majority of me.
But now—each little day at a time—I’m learning new things…
The enemy of our souls knows that if he can turn us on ourselves, it makes his job of stealing, killing, and destroying that much easier. When we listen to his lies, we do his job for him without even knowing it. We start to hate on and destroy ourselves.
Our lives become an echo of the voice we are listening to.
One voice leads to death, but the Other leads to Life. It wasn’t until I was near true, physical death that that Other Voice, the stronger Voice, spoke through the depths of my disaster, declaring…
“No. No more. She’s MINE.”
I have spent many years trying to run away from the voice of the enemy. There is only ONE voice of truth, and every day I have to decide—sometimes over and over, second by second—which voice I will choose to listen to. I’m continually learning how to discern the difference in the voices. Some days I follow the wrong one. Some days I allow the manipulative (often masked by enticing glitter and attractive eloquence) voice to dominate me…
And I start to…
…believe that I will never get married.
…believe that I am not talented enough for music.
…believe that I am not thin enough, pretty enough, young enough…
Sometimes it’s easier to believe the lies over the truth.
AND YET, without fail, every single time—before I get too far gone—that Voice emerges, beckoning me to stop and reconsider what I have been thinking.
“Amy, who told you that you were not beautiful?”
“Amy, who told you that you were not talented enough?”
“Amy, who told you that you were not amazing?”
The Voice of Truth is always there, speaking to us if we will listen.
I don’t know what voice you are listening to right now.
I don’t know what voice you have been agreeing with and believing.
Maybe like me, it gets confusing and hard to know.
Maybe like me, everyday is a battle to turn your ear towards God’s Voice.
Maybe like me, you need to stop, and go back to the very beginning.
Go back to Genesis.
Go back to the only One who knows you, created you, formed you, breathedlife into you, and charted all the days of your life.
Go back to the One who loves you.
Go back to the One who knows the Truth.
Go back to the One who is speaking Life.
What is His voice calmly speaking over you today?