When an opportunity to serve in an accountability role comes up in your life, it is important to assess whether or not you are in a good place mentally and spiritually before you position yourself to help other people. It doesn’t mean you have to be perfect or have no problems, but it’s imperative that you carry a level of health and wholeness before you can step into that role and expect it to be a success!
Some really important questions to ask yourself if you are considering serving as an accountability person for someone are:
- Am I in a healthy place emotionally and spiritually? (If you’re not sure, ask the people close to you.)
- Am I able to set boundaries? Am I intimidated if there’s push-back from the other person?
- Is this something I am doing in order to fill a void in my life?
- Do I know how to direct people to Jesus or do I feel a need to be their savior?
The reality is that it feels really good to be needed. But, if you’re not getting that validation from your relationship and identity in Christ, it can be easy to start putting your worth and identity in being a helper and being needed in someone’s life. If that’s your motivator, it’s not going to end well. Our number one focus as an accountability person is to listen, support and then redirect the other person back to the Lord—over and over and over again. It’s the difference between enabling and empowering: they either keep the problem and their need for you or they are positioned to experience the breakthrough and healing that ONLY Jesus can bring. Empowerment and freedom has to be the goal of every healthy accountability relationship.
Choosing to be honest with yourself when you are assessing whether or not to serve in an accountability role is extremely important for you and for the other person. But truth be told, we are ALL called to accountability to each other at one level or another. Accountability is something that every last person on the planet who calls themselves a follower of Christ should have in their life. We should ALL have relationships and friendships with people who are allowed to speak into our lives. As we do, we position ourselves to grow and heal and then help others to experience growth and healing too.
For more thoughts on being a healthy helper check out our MercyTalk podcast!