Bethany – 2014 Graduate

I was sexually abused by multiple family members, church members, and those I should have been able to trust over and over in my life. One family member in particular would manipulate me and make me feel like once I grew up I would no longer be “perfect.” This caused me to loathe my gender and my body and led me to struggle with a sexual addiction and self-harm. I also became involved in witchcraft, which instilled a lot of fear in me. When I was 21, I hit rock bottom after having a one-night stand with a man I barely knew and ended up pregnant. I was scared and confused, so I began starving myself to abort the baby. The shame and guilt led me to continue starving myself and self-harming, and I became suicidal.

My spiritual mom and mentor told me about Mercy. We printed out the application, but I blew if off because I didn’t think yet another treatment center would work. I didn’t think I was “sick” enough to need Mercy either. Finally, when I was at my lowest weight, I applied.

My high anxiety made my first few months at Mercy very difficult. My fears were overwhelming and little breakthrough happened. I was having panic attacks, meltdowns and crises every day. After three months at Mercy, I faced the consequences of not being willing to surrender. It ended up being the best thing for me because this is where breakthrough and revelation slowly began to come. I was able to surrender and recognize that the abuse I had suffered in my past was not love.

While at Mercy, I learned that God didn’t make a mistake when he made me a woman, because God doesn’t make mistakes. I came to accept my femininity and learned I am worth more than what I can do sexually. I learned I have strength and beauty. I can hold my head high because God is my glory and the lifter of my head. I experienced God’s love for the first time here and learned the importance of honesty and being real. I destroyed the lie that I’m easily forgotten and rejected. I am chosen by God, and He never rejects me. God accepts me just as I am and doesn’t judge me by my outward appearance. He has carved my name in the palm of His hand.

After Mercy I plan to work and get involved in Celebrate Recovery and home groups at my church. In the future, I hope to become a writer and share God’s love for women through that. I also hope to lead a women’s ministry one day and speak to women everywhere.

I am so thankful for the opportunity I had to come to Mercy thanks to donors like you! You have impacted my life forever, and I will never be the same. Thank you so much for being a willing vessel of God. I thank God for the amazing seed you sow each and every day.