Andrea – 2015 Graduate
My parents became Christians before I was born, and we attended church together all through my childhood. While it was a blessing to have all of my parents’ attention as an only child, I became very self-centered. My early years were sheltered since most of my friends were from church or the Christian school I attended through high school. The enemy used the Godly principles I was being taught against me as I formed legalistic, black-and-white thinking. Throughout grade school, I looked for security in having a best friend. Each new school year, my friendships would change, and I felt a sense of loss. Toward the end of my fifth grade year, after my best friend at the time moved on to a more popular crowd, I caught strep throat. When I came back to school the next week, my teacher commented on the weight I had lost. My confidence level grew, and I liked the idea of being small. This was the beginning of my first battle with anorexia. My mom grew concerned and took me to an outpatient eating disorder clinic. By the middle of sixth grade I was at a healthy weight and completed my treatment. In high school I found my identity in performance. When I stopped cheerleading in tenth grade, my fear of gaining weight led to my second struggle with anorexia. Again, my parents took me to a doctor who monitored my vital signs and weight as I regularly went to counseling. To quiet their concerns, I maintained the target weight until high school graduation. That fall, I moved three hours from home to attend college. By the second semester of freshman year, I was losing weight at an unhealthy rate. While I attended church regularly and stayed involved in campus ministries, my worth and identity were wrapped up in doing school or volunteer work and trying to prove myself. After graduation from college I moved home and worked as a substitute teacher.
My roommate had told me about her cousin who received help with an eating disorder at a place called Mercy. Even though I struggled to believe I had a need “legitimate enough” to get help from Mercy, I decided to apply and a few months later was accepted. From the minute I walked through the doors of Mercy, I felt love and acceptance from strangers that I hadn’t bought or earned.
The most significant shift in my thinking began as I identified lies I believed for so long about my identity and worth. I am still learning about the significance and depth of God’s grace. My counselor worked with me to create truth statements that I daily use to renew my mind. Now I can begin to see life from a new perspective according to what God sees, not the false ways I interpreted God from my experiences. Instead of minimizing my emotions, I’m learning to be aware of them and continue to bring hurts to God for His healing touch. The LORD is teaching me how to share emotions and connect in a healthy way with others.
I really grew at Mercy. In the beginning of counseling, I remember my counselor asking me to stop and take time to rest in the Lord and listen to His voice. I had no idea what that even meant and thought it was a waste of time. But gradually I came to realize the incredible power behind being in the Lord’s presence. As I chose to forgive those who had hurt me, I found out God wants me to give up my desire for repayment in the areas where I was wronged and leave that in His hands. The enemy had so deceptively twisted the Truth in so many areas of my life. Because I have authority in the name of Jesus, I can be free from the enslavement to sin that has held me down. As Mercy helped me trace habits of sin in past generations, I became more aware of areas that need to be monitored in my own life to break them off and keep them from being passed to the next generation.
After graduating from Mercy, I plan to move back to my hometown and get involved in church. At first, I hope to work as a teacher’s aide or daycare worker. The Lord has placed dreams and desires in me to help others. Perhaps one day I can even work in China or start a Mercy Ministries for young men!
From the bottom of my heart I want to say thank you to Mercy supporters for allowing me to experience the presence of God day in and day out in such an intimate, personal way. My life will never be the same! I have a new perspective on who my Savior is and what His intentions are for my life. I have gotten to truly experience the life that Jesus died to bring to me. May the Lord bless you abundantly for all of the time and precious sacrifices you have made to invest in my life.