I was born into a pretty dysfunctional family. My parents separated before I was born and were officially divorced when I was one year old. My mom married my step dad around that same time. I grew up visiting back and forth between my parents’ two homes. I attended Catholic school, but didn’t learn much about Jesus. When I was eight, my step dad got orders from the military for our family to move to Japan. The divorce agreement changed so that I’d be living with each parent for a year at a time. While living with my dad, I was physically abused for the first time. It was around this time when my mom started making comments about how much I weighed, and as a result, I started showing some eating disorder behaviors while also struggling with sexual addictions. Coming back from the year living at my dad’s house, I became really defiant and rebellious towards my mom and my step dad. During an argument it eventually came out that I had been abused. We went to the military police and reported it in the county my dad was a resident in. CPS decided not to take action, as I wasn’t currently living with him. My dad passed away when I was 11, and my world came crashing down. I started self-harming and began throwing my heart at anyone, for the sake of feeling wanted. I also attempted suicide, and it is to the glory of God that I’m alive today. When I was a junior, I started at a new school, hoping for a fresh start. I started dating this guy, and after I got arrested that December, he broke up with me soon after. I fell into a horrible depression and started smoking even more. I also started drinking bottles of cough syrup and getting high. My mom had brought Mercy to my attention before, and I finally reached a point I was ready to seek help for myself. The day I got accepted to Mercy, I officially started dating a boy from church who I had discovered smoked pot. He later pressured me to have sex, and when he broke up with me, I fell into a deeper depression than what I had ever experienced. I started smoking really potent marijuana and felt unwanted, unloved, ugly, alone, unworthy.
I found out about Mercy through some family friends and pastors a couple different times. I decided to apply because I knew I had hit rock bottom, and I couldn’t continue to live like I was. When I arrived, I was very doubtful that I would actually be healed from anything. I was very angry, depressed, and sick, mentally, physically, and emotionally.
A major turning point during my time at Mercy was when I decided to be really vulnerable for the first time in counseling. It became clear to me that my decision to be vulnerable with my counselor meant that I was changing and that I WANTED to change.
God has shown me my identity as his daughter, friend, and bride. He’s shown me that I can trust Him with anything, and that He’s ALWAYS been there for me, through everything. Jesus showed me that He pursues me relentlessly, and that He always embraces me with love and mercy, and there is nothing I can or can’t do to change that.
I plan to attend Discipleship Training School in Thailand next August. After that I plan to come back home to attend bible college.
Thank you to all the Mercy donors for the amazing support and blessing you provide for Mercy and the residents. You show the girls that they are seen and loved through your giving.
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