Growing up my dad stayed at home with my sister and me while my mom worked. He was physically present in our lives, but was emotionally absent dealing with his own addictions. When I was five or six we discovered that I had a severe tree nut allergy. I began to depend on my mom to tell me what I could and couldn’t eat. When I was nine she left my dad, and I became afraid to eat anything. In our new routine, I was able to get away with not eating anything that I wasn’t comfortable with. I quickly got used to being physically empty and emotionally full from the drama in my family. That cycle continued until I came to Mercy. When I was 12, my mom got a place to live, and my sister and I were forced to begin spending the night with her. Around this time I started binge eating. Life with my mom was chaotic and sometimes violent. I began to restrict food, self-harm and later purge. All of this continued until I ended up in the hospital. I was put on antidepressants and was later diagnosed with a lot of labels: bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, PTSD, an eating disorder and a panic disorder. I was placed on a variety of medications. After things got worse with my mom, my dad was eventually awarded sole custody of my sister and me. When a family member molested me, my eating disorder worsened, and I was placed in the hospital. No one knew about the abuse until I was in the process of applying to Mercy. I continued to struggle and was admitted to the hospital two more times. My relationship with my mom began to be mended I was able to share about the abuse with her. The flashbacks from the all the abuse I had experienced and held in for so long led to my beginning to self-harm after almost two years of not self-harming. It escalated quickly, and I became convinced I needed help soon. I began to surrender my struggles to God, who I had given up trusting.
I found out about Mercy through a music video. I really felt God leading me to Mercy, and I began the application process amongst all that was going on in my life. When I arrived I was very angry and bitter. I hated how I looked, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to stay.
Most of my big moments of breakthrough at Mercy were in the prayer room. One time I was lying on the floor crying, talking to God about my pain, and He responded simply to me,“I love you.” It completely changed my view on myself.
While at Mercy, God healed me from all of the labels I had on me. I miraculously no longer have a tree nut allergy, and I am not afraid of living! I also got my GED! I have learned that God really loves me.
After graduating from Mercy, I will be getting a job and going to college. I want to someday start a family.
Thank you so much to all who support Mercy. My freedom would not have been possible without you.