Elizabeth – 2016 Graduate

My parents understood the importance of raising children in the church, and they did everything they could to make sure my siblings and I attending on a weekly basis. Although I was in church, I didn’t really have my own personal understanding of who God was and how much He loved me. I was modeled “religious duty” rather than “personal relationship.” When I was around the age of 12, my parents began to have difficulties in their marriage, and as a result, they withdrew emotionally from us children in attempt to fix what was falling apart. My parents argued more, and I quickly began to grow bitter and angry towards them. During this time I did not quite understand what was going on. All I knew is that I wasn’t getting the attention that I craved from them and I felt unloved, rejected, and abandoned. The lies surrounding my identity weighed heavy on me. Around the age of 14, I began to exercise excessively and restrict my food intake in order to distract myself from the pain of my parents’ issues andthe lies I continued to believe. People began to notice me, and this made me feel loved, noticed, and accepted. I began modeling and competing in pageants, which fueled my already unhealthy beliefs about myself and kept me in a cycle of destruction. When these things weren’t enough to numb the hurt, I started drinking, sleeping with multiple men, and engaging in self-harm. The patterns of destructive behaviors and the problems with my family led me into deep depression. When I was 17 years old, I got into a serious relationship with a guy who I fell head over heels for. We went to the same college and things changed. The numbness wore off and the depression came back stronger than before. I became very isolated from my friends and family. I tried so hard to get my boyfriend to save me and fix me, but he couldn’t. He broke it off not long after I admitted to him that I was struggling. Scared and feeling lost and heartbroken, I fell deeper into self-harming behaviors, partying, drinking, and continued in a lifestyle of sexual promiscuity. The guilt and shame from mistreating my body was very heavy on my heart and facing the root of the problem did not seem like an option, so I tried to take my life. After the attempt to end it all failed, I tried to act like I wasn’t struggling any longer. A few months later I was pulled over for drunk driving. This was my wake up call moment.

I realized how miserable I was, and my parents sat me down to discuss my choices. They mentioned Mercy to me, and I knew it was what I needed. Arriving at Mercy I was unsure because I was still stuck in my old identity.

The first few months at Mercy I cried so many tears and realized how many lies I had believed about myself and how much danger I had put myself and others in. I saw that I was really broken and the only way to ever be renewed and put back together was by letting God have full control of my life. I began renewing my mind to the Word of God. Reading scripture out loud daily, I began to see a change in myself. I learned that what I look like on the outside has nothing to do with who I truly am. My beauty is not defined by what others say about me, but by what God says. I am beautifully and wonderfully made, I am accepted by God, and I am forgiven and redeemed! I received breakthrough when I made the choice to forgive my parents and myself for the way I had chosen to live my life. I realized that God is more about having a personal relationship with me than me fulfilling any religious duty. This truth gave me so much freedom and gave me the ability to receive God’s forgiveness and make the choice to forgive others. Knowing God on a deeper level and believing I am His daughter, I am able to walk confidently in the life He has given me. I know He never left me, He loves me, accepts me, and has great things planned for me! 

After graduating Mercy, I will be returning home to work for my dad until I start college in the fall. I look forward to spending much needed time with my family and walking in this new found freedom and joy. One day, I hope to work for Mercy and be able to pour into young women’s lives like Mercy has done for me.

 To all the Mercy donors, thank you for believing in me and supporting me. You never met me, but you loved me, and that means the world to me. I truly appreciate your investment into my healing process. I wish I could hug you and thank you in person, but I just want you to know that I will always be thankful for you, and I will never forget you.