Hannah – 2014 Graduate

My parents divorced when I was very young. Both parents remarried, and my dad moved far away. Christ was not a big part of my life. As I got older, I desperately wanted to feel loved and wanted by a guy. I thought losing weight was the answer, so I began restricting food, purging after meals, and then eventually binging and purging. During this time, I became very promiscuous, especially with older men. When I was in high school, I entered into a secret relationship with an adult man. He gave me easy access to alcohol and drinking took away my worry that someone would find out about our secret. After graduating high school, I realized I didn’t want to be tied down in a relationship. I went off to college and was drinking, partying and using drugs. I thought I was living the good life, until one night I went out with friends to a bar and woke up the next morning in an apartment I had never been in. I was naked with derogatory words written all over my body. I had been drugged and raped. I hated myself for allowing this to happen, so I did not tell a soul, but turned to binging and purging to numb the pain. My life started spinning out of control. I started getting tons of traffic and parking tickets, and when I got a DUI, I felt lower than ever. As a broke college student with huge fines to pay, I could no longer afford my food addiction, so I started stealing food. This eventually led me to stealing anything, just because I thought it was fun. However, when I was finally arrested for stealing, I knew I had hit rock bottom and needed help.

I began to see a counselor who mentioned Mercy to me. When he told me about Mercy, I was very skeptical of the program actually working for me. However, I decided to give it a shot, because I had nothing to lose and no longer wanted to be a burden to my family. When I arrived at Mercy I was very lost and thought my identity was wrapped up in everything I had done. I had no respect for myself and thought that it was impossible for anyone else to respect me.

A turning point for me at Mercy was a particular day when God spoke to me through a scripture in the Bible. It was a verse in Psalms that says God understands all sides of me. After reading this, God told me, “Hannah, I am going to put good people in your life that will have your back, but I have all sides of you. I will never let you fall.” This was the most comforting thing I had ever heard. Now I know that no matter what happens, God has got me. I just have to trust in Him for everything. Before Mercy, I had no relationship with God. Now graduating from Mercy I know that I am deeply loved by God and always have been. Yes, I have made a lot of mistakes, but God has forgiven me for every single one of them. My past does not define me.

I know that God has amazing plans for me, and the things I have done haven’t ruined those plans. I am now so excited about my future and life in general. After graduating from Mercy, I will be going to nursing school to become a labor and delivery nurse. I will also be involved in my church and hope to be on the worship team.

I am thankful to the Mercy donors and staff for everything they have done. They have taught me the meaning of unconditional love, which I had never experienced before.