I graduated from Mercy in 2018, and it was one of the greatest blessings of my life. I have been pursuing missions through the organization YWAM since then and would like to do counseling ministry full-time with orphans one day.
One of the biggest things God has shown me since I became a believer at age 18 is my identity of being His daughter. This continued revelation has changed my life and opened my heart to recognize and receive His blessings. When I first heard the gospel and learned who God is, how Jesus literally saved my life, and how nothing in this world is greater than eternity with Him, everything for me was forever changed. It was easy for me to lay down my life and surrender it all to Him since I felt like I had no purpose, understanding, or fulfillment from life before knowing Him.
Fixing our Eyes on the Things Above
I was very inspired by people who sacrificed so much to share the gospel. Hearing testimonies of how people have been imprisoned, tortured, or martyred because of their faith really challenged and grew my faith. Scripture talks about how the disciples were willing to leave everything to follow Jesus and how we should fix our eyes on the things above.
Matthew 6:20 reminds us to store our treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy them. There is no greater treasure that I want more than for others to join and share in God’s eternal kingdom. It is such radical grace that God has given to us. It breaks my heart for those who don’t know it yet and haven’t experienced His power, healing, and love. This is why I have felt called into the mission field, and I thought that was what my entire life’s purpose was about.
For the past few years, I have carried such a burden for the broken and those who don’t know Jesus. At some point though, I started to feel guilty for living my life in ways that seemed selfish if it didn’t have something to do with helping others. I developed an unhealthy perspective on making sure that I don’t “store up treasures on earth.” I focused so much on sacrifice and my identity as a servant of The Lord that I forgot Jesus died so that we could be adopted and co-heirs with Him.
God calls us His children, and I heard a quote recently that said “the only person who would dare wake a king in the middle of the night for a glass of water is a child.” It is true and important to look at what God’s Word says about being a follower of Jesus, but it’s also important to always remember the full Gospel. “Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.” John 1:12 (NIV)
Jesus is our Ultimate Savior
I have to remind myself that Jesus is the savior, and it is not on me to save someone. The more I live from the place of intimacy with Him and let go of all I’m clinging onto with my hands and surrender and trust it in His, the more I have seen Him work in others in miraculous ways.
Whenever I am in a place of feeling like I have to do all these things for God, like He is my boss and my life is about just accomplishing a job as best I can to please Him, I start to lose the passion I have for Him and others.
Our life’s purpose isn’t about what we do for God; it’s about our relationship with Him. It’s a fulfilling thing to get to do things together, even when it gets hard. Obedience then comes from a place of love and trust, not obligation. This leads to blessing. I’ve realized that God wants to bless me. Every good gift is from Him, so I do not have to feel guilty for the different blessings He has brought to my life, but I can thankfully receive and share. I am His daughter, and He is an amazing Father that wants us to accomplish great things, but WITH Him, not just for Him.
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