Growing up, I was raised in a Christian home where both of my parents loved the Lord and emphasized a Christian education. During school, it was tough because I developed a learning disability that made it hard for me to learn. I told my teacher that someone I knew had been sexually abusing me for a year and a half. It became a whirlwind of emotions of being unwanted and betrayed. I felt shame, guilt, and condemnation. I knew that God was with me, but I didn’t fully believe it. I was able to recover from that in high school, and then I was accepted into a 4-year university where I studied music. Music was my passion and that was the only reason why I stayed in school. Things began to change when my flute professor told me I would not be good enough to be a band director. As a result, I would practice extreme hours with no breaks to prove her wrong. It only ended with poor grades on the rest of my classes. I was told that I would not be able to go back to school for the next year. I was devastated. I suffered depression, anxiety, PTSD, and suicidal thoughts. I thought it was useless to go to church and that God will never be able to help a person like me. It was a two-and-a-half-year battle of unsafe relationships and friendships. After another sexual assault, I knew I needed help.
I found out about Mercy from my sister’s best friend that graduated from the Nashville home. I first applied after I got out of college, but during that time I was in such denial about needing to come to a residential home to work on my issues, so I didn’t finish the application process. I knew I needed God. I didn’t know if God would be able to help my situation, but I thought I didn’t have much to lose. I felt hopeless and worthless. I thought that I was long gone, that no one would ever truly love a person like me. I was negative and had a hard time smiling genuinely. I was accepted and arrived at Mercy.
After my first month at Mercy, some of the girls mentioned how much growth I had. I felt like there was no growth. Another turning point for me was my 3-month mark. I noticed that I had true relationship with God, which was marked with constant prayer. I realized I need to pray to God every day in order for my life to be normal.
During my time at Mercy, a Shepherd sought after me, and found me miles away from where I was supposed to be. He found me to bring me home to where I truly belong. I was a lost sheep. I didn’t have any direction. I didn’t know where I was going, or what I was doing. At Mercy, I learned that God places people where He wants us to be for a time. I realized that God has great plans for me in Jeremiah 29:11. He allowed me to have joy and laughter back in my life, which is more than what I can thank Him for. I have learned that God is working through me, even when I don’t feel it.
After I graduate, I plan on getting a job and following the Dave Ramsey plan to get out of debt. I plan on being heavily involved in the community to share the gifts that God has given me.
To the donors and supporters of Mercy, the financial and emotional contribution that you bring is truly a blessing to all of us in the home. It’s with you that I was able to find true freedom in Christ. I was able to find tools that were able to help me in everything that I do. Your giving truly transforms lives and gives people hope to where there was none.