Caitlyn – 2017 Graduate
My childhood was full of insecurities. I had a desire to be perfect and please others, but I hated myself and always felt I needed to be better. I thought love from God was extremely conditional. I thought I had to earn His love, so instead I just shut Him out. During my high school years, I struggled with an eating disorder, self-harm, and depression. In college, I met a guy and ended up in an extremely unhealthy relationship in which he was emotionally, physically, and sexually abusive. I was doing drugs and getting drunk daily while pretending life was great. My boyfriend and I shared an apartment, and one day while I was away, I learned a young woman had been found deceased outside my apartment. My boyfriend was nowhere to be found, and there was a connection between the two. I went into a state of shock. I didn’t want to eat, sleep, or go out in public. I was scared for my life and struggling with PTSD.
I learned about Mercy Multiplied from the counselor I was seeing. She told my mother she was worried about my well-being and suggested we seek help. I was desperate to start living and enjoying life again. I really felt like I had nothing left to lose, so why not give it a try? I was terrified when I came to Mercy. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, and I was hesitant that I would get better at all.
My first turning point while at Mercy was on my first worship night. I got a vision from God of the girl that had passed away outside my apartment, sitting up with Him in heaven. She smiled down at me and told me she was cheering me on. Getting that answer that she was in heaven was so encouraging and really pushed me to keep going and really turn my life around.
God has truly saved my life. I have learned just how much God loves me, and I have been able to learn to love myself in a way that I have never ever experienced before. God helped me forgive my ex for the things he had done and showed me what real grace and mercy are. I view life in an entirely different way now because of what I have learned and what God has done for me at Mercy. Even though I know I will still go through struggles in life, I can be confident in the fact that God is still right here with me and helping me each step of the way.
After I graduate from Mercy, I plan on going home with my family and spending time loving them. I plan to get involved in a youth ministry program and press into whatever God has in store for me. I believe He wants to use my story and share it with others so they can learn about what an amazing God in heaven there is and how He desires to have a close and personal relationship with them.
Mercy donors, I want to tell you that you really are saving lives by what you do for Mercy Multiplied. I truly believe I wouldn’t still be here today if it weren’t for Mercy. You provide so much hope and encouragement to girls who’ve lived their entire lives without it. Your contributions have SUCH an impact on so many girls’ lives. Not a day goes by where you are unnoticed. Thank you so much for giving me the courage to go out and live life well!