When I was two years old, my mother died suddenly due to health complications. My dad was devastated, but he did everything he possibly could to take her place. Though I have no memory of her, the hole she left inside me at such a young age was impossible to fill. As I grew up, I wasn’t aware of the underlying affects my mother’s death caused. On the outside, my life seemed perfect. My dad remarried, and I had a wonderful new mom and two brothers. I did well in school and was part of extracurricular activities. But deep down, I was unhappy and completely dissatisfied with my life. I thought my feelings were temporary. I believed once I got to college, once I got a boyfriend, once I had a good job, I would finally be happy. This was a lie.

In high school, a friend offered me a prescription drug that I took frequently. Soon my tolerance built up so much that I was taking multiple times the normal dose. By the time I was in Law School, I was arrested for shoplifting. I was stealing because I spent every dime I had on my prescription drug addiction. That’s when I went to rehab for the first time. After rehab, I got a job working for a state senator, but the workload was intense. I started using again, thinking I could control it this time. Soon after, I was arrested for theft, but this time with the possession of methamphetamine. That same night I attempted suicide.

I started my Mercy application while I was still in the hospital.

I thought I knew God before I came to Mercy. I was raised in church, and I was taught to believe that God was good and loving. I knew if I asked, He would forgive me of my sins. However, what I didn’t understand was that every good thing comes from God, and every heartache, every loss, every death, comes not from God, but from our fallen world, and the enemy that inhabits it. I know now that it wasn’t God who took my mother so young, but God who has and will use her death for the good of my dad and me. It was God who put the woman who would raise me, my mom, into my dad’s life. It was God who gave me two little brothers to save me from my loneliness growing up. Coming to Mercy has given me a completely different heart for God because I know now that He wants only good things for my life.

Coming into a relationship with Jesus has truly given me hope and a future. The night I was arrested and attempted suicide, I prayed that God would take my soul up to heaven. My life felt like such hell in that moment that I was willing to roll the dice with my eternity. I was destroyed, but God wouldn’t let me go. He still has a purpose for me here on earth. I know that God has used what I thought would kill me, to give me a brand-new life in Him. I believe now, without any doubt, that my life is meaningful. God has saved me, and I can be at peace because He is working all things out for the good of my future.

I remember crying to my dad one time telling him that I just couldn’t believe my life turned out like this. I couldn’t believe that this was all there was. At the time he told me to turn to God, but I didn’t know how. Now I do. I have complete faith that my life will become more wonderful than I could have ever imagined. For the first time, I’m excited about my future. What I ultimately know for sure is that before Mercy, I had nothing, and now I’m leaving here with the life that God has redeemed for me.
To the donors, thank you for supporting the place that helped give me a hope and a future. Your donations have helped me to receive a brand-new life through Jesus Christ.