My life before Mercy was a blur. From a very young age, I had deep needs for acceptance, love, identity, and connection that were not met. I did not have stability or security. I believed that no one cared about me, I was not worthy of love, and I was not good enough.
To get my needs met, I adopted self-sufficient, people-pleasing, and perfectionistic tendencies in hopes that someone would love me. I began to engage in several destructive behaviors like an eating disorder, alcohol and drug addictions, and unhealthy relationships. I married, divorced, had one living child, and miscarried another. I was sexually exploited for drugs, and my life was constantly endangered through many promiscuous and unsafe relationships. I was diagnosed with many health disorders, as well as mental illness. When I started serving God, I developed a religious and prideful spirit. I felt used, abused, dirty, cheap, unlovable, undesirable, hopeless, and lifeless.
I found out about Mercy through a friend. By this point, I had so many walls built for protection that I did not even know why I did the things I did, what I needed, or how to get my basic needs met.
A turning point for me at Mercy was when God revealed to my counselor through prayer that I was severely emotionally underdeveloped due to a lack of opportunity to explore my feelings and thoughts. After that, God promised to rapidly develop what was not developed in my formative years. He was faithful, and I began to trust God to tackle my life hurts.
During my time at Mercy, God showed me that I’ve been chosen and adopted into His family. I was never responsible for meeting my own needs. God showed me I am valuable, and I am worthy of love, stability, and security. I am an imperfect person, but I follow the perfect One. In Him, there is always grace for my weaknesses. God taught me to trust, and He taught me that I can connect authentically with Him, others, and myself.
After graduation, I plan to continue nurturing and developing a healthy, loving relationship with my family and son. I hope to engage in activities like gardening and fitness. Also, I hope to glorify God through my artwork. I want to speak to women about the great things God has done in my life and give them hope for a new future. I plan on deepening my relationship with God, and taking hold of all that for which He has taken hold of me.
I am so grateful for Mercy! I needed a safe place and haven to rest in the arms of my Father. Thank you to all the donors. I will never be the same.