I was born in Mixco, Guatemala. I was born to an alcoholic 17-year-old mother and did not know anything about my father. When I was 4, I came to the United States with my lovely adopted parents. Because of the trauma that happened before coming to the US, I grew up very fearful of men and loud, gun-like noises. At the age of 6 I started having night terrors. I also started school at 6 and was bullied because I wasn’t socially or academically ready to start school when I was 5. On top of that, things started happening at home. I was getting accused of things I didn’t believe I was apart of. This hurt me a lot. I grew angry and confused. This caused me to shut down completely. I no longer enjoyed living. Everywhere I went I didn’t know what was going to happen. I started to almost welcome the bulling and I didn’t want to come home. I was so scared that I would get accused of something again. I wanted to run away and never come back.
I knew of God and eventually accepted him into my heart. But this caused me to become angry at God, too. I would cry at night and know that dreams would come to haunt me. No one understood me and I felt like God left me and didn’t care what was happening to me. At 12 I was sexually abused by a relative. This left me confused, hurt, and ashamed. I stopped showing any affection to my family. Since I felt so abandoned and like no one cared I started turning to other things for love and acceptance. I started going on online and chatting with random guys that I didn’t know. At that point, I didn’t care about life and began self-harming. At 15 years old I tried to take my life. This landed me in the hospital and 5 days in a mental health facility, but things still didn’t get better. I knew this wasn’t the way I wanted to live but I really didn’t care.
When I was 17 I decided I really wanted help and I knew nothing else was really working. My parents found Mercy online. When I first came to Mercy, I still was shut down. I soon realized that nothing I did, or was frightened from would cause the staff to reject me. I started using my voice because I knew they genuinely wanted to hear me out and help me. Being here has helped me find my voice and who I really am. I am not a mistake or someone who can’t do anything right. I am not what the world labeled me as.
I now know that I am a new creation in Christ. I have grown so much closer to the Lord and our relationship is strong. I don’t need anyone’s approval. I just need the Lord’s! One of my favorite Bible verses is Romans 12:12-13: “Constantly rejoicing in hope [because of our confidence in Christ], steadfast and patient in distress, devoted to prayer [continually seeking wisdom, guidance, and strength], contributing to the needs of God’s people, pursuing [the practice of] hospitality.” This really helped me throughout my life and my time here. I now have the tools to help me throughout life’s journey.
After Mercy I will be going back home and I plan on working. Some of the long run things I want to do is go to College and get my BA degree in Family and Children Ministries where I can also help others who are in need. I also want to go on different mission trips throughout my life. My biggest desire is to help others experience God’s love for them.
To all the Mercy donors, thank you so much! I have total freedom in Christ now. I can’t thank you enough in believing in me and in this program.