I grew up in two dysfunctional homes. One with an alcoholic father and at my mother’s house I was sexually abused at an early age. I grew up very confused about what my purpose in life was and when I tried to speak out about the abuse, no one listened and I was actually accused of lying about it. That led me to believe my voice had no power and that I was meant to just be an object for men’s pleasure. I became very promiscuous by putting myself in unhealthy relationships that caused harmful situations to occur. I was taken advantage of, which led to other poor choices causing me to transfer schools. After high school I fell back into depression and started restricting food and partying had become more of a lifestyle. Maintaining a high all day was a goal as soon as I woke up. After 7 years of abuse I left home and became more independent. I was finding out what that freedom was like and watched as my struggles grew more and more. My drug use worsened and I went into harder drugs causing more unhealthy eating disorders to occur and heroin was becoming my main appetite. Trying to solve everything, I got into a relationship with another addict, hoping it would just solve everything. When he left for rehab I got into another relationship with an abusive alcoholic. My depression was masked with alcohol and heroin. I left the relationship when the abuse got to an all-time high in hopes to just clean out my life. Burning through and using any “friends” I had for money and anything else I could get my hands on. I was stealing, selling my body, and moving around constantly trying to stabilize myself until I realized that in this addiction and lifestyle there was no stability and that if I wanted stability, I would have to change.
I heard about Mercy when my ex-fiancé returned from rehab and told me about a woman’s rehab that works across from his facility. So I called there and was planning on going there but because of not having control over my eating habits, they suggested Mercy to me. They said it would be a better fit for me because they didn’t have the proper staff or meal plans to help people with struggling eating disorders. After arriving at Mercy, the Lord showed me a reflection of myself and what my actions had caused. I realized that I no longer wanted to stay surface and needed to go deeper to solve the why behind my actions.
A change happened after Christmas break. I realized that I needed to get serious. I didn’t want to go back to the old lifestyle I came from so I needed to actually listen to the Lord and let Him in. During my time here, God has corrected me, disciplined me, loved me, shown me my worth and value and He has walked me through pains of my past. He has given me peace about many situations and truly revealed His character in everything.
After Mercy, I am moving to a new city where I’ll be attending church. I’ll start school in the fall to attain my degree in counseling.
Thank you so much for all your support, it warms my heart to know that there are people out there who want to love me regardless of knowing anything about me or my past. It would not be possible for me or any other Mercy girls to attend this life changing program without your help and support.