Sara – 2017 Graduate
From a young age, I always wanted to be accepted and loved. I was very fearful in life, and that kept me trapped. My dad was very controlling and would sometimes go beyond the point of discipline. I never knew what mood he would be in, and I became fearful. As a child, I felt as if I had to be perfect in order to be loved. As I grew older, this feeling escalated into trying to find love and acceptance in a man. I began flirting and dressing a certain way I thought would get guys’ attention because I wanted to feel beautiful. Eventually, I lost my virginity, even though I originally wanted to wait until marriage. From that point on, I would give as much of myself as guys wanted in hopes it would keep them around. It never did. Those that did stick around weren’t healthy relationships.
I eventually became pregnant, and have since given birth to four handsome boys. But it wasn’t easy, and I decided to place my fourth son for adoption. I knew I couldn’t give him the life he deserved. This is when the enemy began to torment me with thoughts of not being a safe mom. I began to think my kids were better without me, living somewhere else. Even though I was still a part of their lives, I ran from my responsibilities as a mom. I ran to guys and friends, thinking I needed to be able to do what I want. I didn’t take into consideration the pain and heartache I was putting my boys through. The enemy was keeping me away from my children and from being the mom God has called me to be.
I found out about Mercy Multiplied through my home church. My church partners with Mercy Multiplied, and I would hear about Mercy through videos and when Mercy’s Founder and President, Nancy Alcorn, would come to our church. Two years prior to applying, a family member told me that I should apply, and I insisted that I wouldn’t. However, my life came to a point that I knew I had to do something. When I finally stepped in the doors of Mercy, I was expecting an instant fix; I didn’t want to have to do much. I thought It was all God’s responsibility.
I had a few turning points in my Mercy journey. During a prayer time we had in class, God spoke to me three simple, but amazing words, “You are healed.” In that moment, I knew I just had to do my part in what He was doing in my life. Another turning point for me was in a vision He gave me of Him surrounding me on all sides, protecting me from anything and everything that has ever tried to come against me, reminding me that I could not be harmed.
I have learned that I am not all the lies I have told myself and all the thoughts that try and deceive me and bring confusion. God is not the author of confusion. I learned that I have authority over the enemy and his attacks and that my future will not be like my past. God has great plans for my boys and me. The only reason that the enemy is trying so hard to destroy all that God has in store for me is because he knows that I am a major threat to him. God also wants me to know that I am loved and accepted by Him no matter what I do or have done and that I don’t need to worry about the opinions of others.
After Mercy, I plan to get a full-time job and be completely involved in my kids’ lives. I plan to get involved in my church, continue getting healthy and in shape, and eventually getting my own home. One day, I will marry the man of my dreams who will be a Godly husband and an amazing father to my boys, someone they can look up to. I’m not sure what else God has in store at this point but I will make the decision to be ready for whatever that is.
I would like to thank Nancy Alcorn for being obedient to God’s voice and establishing a place like Mercy. Thank you for believing in me and knowing that my life is more than just mistakes and bad decisions. I would also like to thank the donors, thank you for supporting Mercy because without you guys, the hope and restoration that is possible through Mercy would not be possible. I am full of gratitude, and I pray that God blesses you and your families abundantly.