I grew up in a super close Christian family, but something about God never really stuck with me. From a very young age I felt unlovable and unworthy. I was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder at age eight, reinforcing the ideas in my head that I was somehow less competent and “messed up.” I felt that there was something inherently wrong with me. I struggled in school, both socially and in my schoolwork. When I was ten, I moved to a new area and school, which completely turned my life upside down. Around the same time, my mother became very sick. I felt like I lost all sense of stability in my life. The patterns of instability and sense of incompetency kept growing and led to an eating disorder and repeated pornography use at age 13. I felt so much shame about these issues. I began to isolate myself and fight with those I loved. I became very depressed at age 15 and began self-harming in hopes of using my outward appearance as a private manifestation of my inward shame. I really lost my identity at this point. Eventually I felt like I endured enough, and I became suicidal. I tried looking for acceptance and belonging in the wrong places and started sending explicit messages online. I eventually ended up being involved one night with someone I really didn’t know, while extremely intoxicated. This was the lowest point of my life, and I wasn’t able to bounce back from it. I eventually dropped out of college, and at that point, I knew that something in my life needed to change.
I heard about Mercy Multiplied at a very low point in my life from a former neighbor who is also a Mercy staff member. I made the decision to apply and eventually entered the program. I was very broken and holding onto a ton of hurt inside of me. I felt numb to everything, and I wore a lot of fake “masks” to hide how I was really feeling.
After being at Mercy for about two months, I really began to examine God and see where He fit in my life. I began asking Him all sorts of questions, about who He was, and where He had been in my life. He systematically answered those questions and reassured me of His presence. I began to see Him as He truly is and not as I thought He was. I gave my life to Him this past Easter. It has been the best and most life-changing decision I have ever made.
Through my time at Mercy, God took the life that I would have so easily thrown away and made it so beautiful. I have a brand new identity in Christ, and my entire worldview has been reshaped. I came in a broken, scared and hurting girl, and with God’s transforming work in my life, I left the program a fully confident woman of God. I’m happy and complete in Christ.
I cannot even stress how excited I am to go back to my hometown and do life! I will be moving into my own place and getting a job to support myself. I’m so ready to re-establish some family relationships and form new lasting friendships!
To all the Mercy supporters, thank you so much for giving to the ministry that gave me back my life. Your giving has helped show me a greater understanding of God’s love. Being able to attend Mercy has changed my life beyond comprehension. Your contribution to my life is not something I will ever forget. Without it I can say with full assurance that I would not be here today. Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart.