Sarah – 2015 Graduate
Despite growing up in a Christian family, I often felt unwanted and as if I were a burden to people. I thought I had to be perfect to be accepted. I hid behind masks because I thought the real me was too ugly to be loved. I put up thick, high walls around my heart in an attempt to protect myself. Without knowing it, closing my heart prevented me from being loved and muted my feelings. I knew something was off in my life, but couldn’t put my finger on it. Anorexia, depression, alcohol dependency, anxiety, self-harm, and sickness weaved in and out of my life, but I wasn’t exactly sure why I struggled with those issues. I felt like my view of God and myself were distorted somehow. My heart cried, “There must be more to life than this!” If your heart is saying the same thing, please, listen to it. The cry in my heart was how God prompted me to get help, and I’m so glad I didn’t ignore it. It’s guided me to a hope, love, and security I didn’t know existed on this side of heaven.
While in the midst of my struggling, I was reminded of a friend who went through the program. I asked her about it, and she encouraged me to apply. I knew I needed help so I decided to apply. I was excited but a little afraid of the unknown when I got to Mercy. Despite that, I felt there might be hope for me yet.
A major turning point in my journey was taking in the encouraging, prophetic words of a speaker who ministered in the home. Her words kept me motivated to keep going. Seeing how God was with me, through past hurtful events, helped my relationship with Him. I also began believing that others aren’t out to hurt me and that helped smashed the walls I erected so many years before.
While at Mercy I realized I’ve been believing and listening to the lies of the devil and didn’t even know it. Worst of all, He blamed God, and I believed him. But no more! I learned I have authority over the devil by speaking God’s word. I learned God is full of love and grace and that He doesn’t expect me to be perfect. I’m mighty and a champion and not unwanted like I thought.
Eventually, I want to use my dietetic degree and open a free holistic inpatient and outpatient center. I plan to focus on treating patients with chronic illnesses, autoimmune diseases, or other conditions that typically go mistreated. The center will focus on the spiritual, relational, emotional, and physical aspects of the person so they can get well, hope again, and pursue God’s great plan for an abundant life. I want the center to be called Nourished Roots because it treats causes of disease rather than symptoms. Many of the world’s solutions for pain are to numb the hurt without getting to the source of pain. God is the only one that can heal a soul. A nourishing relationship with God is the root to an abundant life.
Thank you to the Mercy supporters. God used this program to bring me back to life.