Jayne – 2015 Graduate
By the time I was three years old, my family had fallen apart. When my mom left my dad, we stayed with friends for three months. One night while my mom was at work, I was abused by the person caring for me. Shortly after, my brother and I returned to live with my dad, and later my parents got divorced. Growing up I didn’t see my mom much and was told a lot of false things about her. As I got older, I saw that my mom really did care for me and provided for me. When I was 10, I was abused again and that continued until I was 15. I just wanted to die. I felt like God just left me to be used and abused. As a result, I started to overeat to hide my pain, stuffing down my feeling by eating junk food. I eventually gained a lot of weight. I thought my weight would keep people out, and I could use it as protection, but instead I was made fun of and began feeling worse about myself. The weight I gained kept me from living my life because it was hard for me to be active. When I finally told my parents about the abuse, they didn’t believe me. It broke my heart. The abuse continued until someone from church finally believed me. When the abuse stopped, I still felt like no one cared. I felt so used and broken. I made a plan to kill myself, but could not go through with it when my brother told me he did not know what he would do without me. My mom was supportive, calling me everyday and often taking off work just to stay with me. From the ages 16-24 I just existed, instead of really living.
I found out about Mercy on the Internet. I took a chance and applied to the program because I knew I was going nowhere in life.
A major turning point for me while at Mercy was when I walked through a part of the counseling curriculum that allowed me to discover that my parents have been hurt too. I learned that I had put unrealistic expectations on them. Once I accepted my dad, I could see that he really loved me more than I thought, and that blew me away. When I took the expectation off of my mom, I saw clearly the ways she really tried to help me. I also realized that I don’t have to repeat the same generational patterns I had grown up with. Walking through the hurts I’ve experienced, I became aware that I’m more then my past. My past doesn’t have to dictate my future. God can use it for good to help others through their pain.
While at Mercy I discovered God. He began speaking to me and showing me my worth. He showed me my road to healing and encouraged me to let go. I know that God and I can win together.
After graduating from Mercy I’m moving to live with my mom, where I have a job with my church. I plan to save money and eventually go to YWAM (Youth With A Mission). One day I hope to be a wife, mom, and a teacher. I’m confident this is just the middle of my story.
I would like to thank the people who support us Mercy girls in our fight for life. I know our lives are a testament to the work of God’s kingdom. Personally, I know how Mercy Multiplied has helped me, and I know it’s all because you were there to support us.