Megan – 2014 Graduate
I grew up going to church, but I never felt like I fit in. My impression was you couldn’t have problems if you were a “Christian,” so I thought I had to hide any issues in my dysfunctional family and not show people who I really was. On top of that, I didn’t have any friends at school. I began to do everything out of my own strength, and I soon realized that wasn’t enough. When I was 10, I started to attempt to relieve some of that stress by eating a lot of food, and then not eating at all. I felt so unworthy of anything, including taking care of my own body. Since I was already doing so much damage through the eating issues, I didn’t care if I did any other harm to my body, so I began to cut myself. I didn’t think I’d become addicted or anything like that, I just thought I’d do it when I was desperate enough. But I was so wrong! I began cutting several times a day, to the point where it became dangerous. I thought I had control of it, but suddenly realized it was controlling me.
I knew I needed help, so I started searching for Christian treatment facilities online. When I found Mercy, I knew it was what I needed. Still, I was very sad all of the time, and addicted to cutting, food, and exercise. When I arrived at the home, I was angry but tried not to show any emotion. Once I couldn’t control my emotions anymore, I began to feel very unstable, swinging from one extreme to another. There were times when I thought everything was about me, and then there were times when I thought I was worthless and no one should even recognize any of my needs.
A few days after I arrived at Mercy, I rededicated my life to Christ. I immediately thought I would be done with all my negative thoughts and behaviors, but God showed me where I still needed to surrender pieces of my life. I started to see that He knew me more than I realized. I laid everything on the table in surrender to Him, even the things I didn’t want to. Little by little, I was transforming into the young woman He created me to be. My life began to come together and I have been living in such joy since that time. I never knew life could be this enjoyable! At Mercy, I learned that God’s love isn’t conditional or based on what I do or don’t do. He has shown me that He is the only One who can fill the deep void in my heart.
After graduation, I’m going back home to live with my family. Next fall, I’m returning to college to continue my art degree. I also want to get my certification to be a personal trainer. Later on, I want to get married and have kids.
I am so thankful for everyone who makes Mercy possible because now I have a second chance at life. If it weren’t for Mercy, I would have never been able to get to know God in this way. I am so glad that I am alive today and living the abundant life that He had planned for me all along.