Porsha – 2013 Graduate
Growing up I was physically and sexually abused. I was depressed and suicidal. I felt like I had failed God and struggled to embrace His love for me. I found God when I was 15. I was in my bedroom, painting and drawing, and I began to cry out to God in frustration. I felt so alone, sitting in the room where I had been abused. I felt the Lord tell me to go to the mirror and distinctly heard Him say “I love you. You’re my child.” I gave my life to Christ that next summer and hope began to flicker. After running away at 17, I moved in with a family member. I got connected with a church and became consumed with “doing” for God. I wanted to be a part of everything our church had to offer, but was constantly feeling left out. When I was asked to take responsibility for something, I fell apart and was consumed with anxiety and feelings of failure. Still suicidal, I began to disappear and not tell anyone where I was going. I just wanted to hide. When I ended up in the hospital, my pastors visited me. I shared my past, and the struggles I was facing with them. They suggested that I look into Mercy Multiplied.
When I came to Mercy, I wanted a deeper relationship with God, and I wanted freedom! I appeared positive and happy but was really nervous. One of the defining moments at Mercy for me was when my grandma got sick. I let the staff know that I was afraid of what would happen and what I would do if she passed away. She was the first person I allowed myself to become close to. While she was alive, she continued to tell me that I was going to be okay. She saw God in me. She believed in me. I found that instead of putting up walls, I could be still with God. When she passed away my counselor sought me out and comforted me. I learned to grieve with God and learned to trust Him.
I learned so many tools at Mercy. Learning to use truth statements and replacing the lies that I believed with God’s truth gave me the opportunity to speak out the powerful word of God. Mercy taught me that I would reap what I put in. I gave God my heart of stone, and He gave me a heart of flesh. Through my time at Mercy, I learned how to speak from my heart. I learned sometimes you have to follow the leader to be the leader. With God in my life, I don’t have to sit around waiting to die. I can live my life to the fullest! I needed help forgiving people with my whole heart, and God gently led me down a path towards forgiveness.
Now almost three years after graduating, I am continuing to walk in freedom. I maintain my freedom by using all of the life skills I learned at Mercy. I don’t do everything perfectly, but giving up is no longer an option. I choose life on a daily basis. God has blessed me with amazing mentors and a great church family who continually remind me that my past life no longer defines me. God called me to use my creativity for His kingdom and shine as His daughter! I have been able to serve my church once a month by painting during worship. I am also now the full-time nanny of four little girls that are changing my world! I love my job because I get to pour out the overflow of love that God has provided me. And I have the time to pursue a dream and goal to minister to women in prisons!
God has called me worthy, and His truth has set me free! I am a living testimony of God’s great love. I feel called to share all that He has done for me. It’s awesome living in freedom! God is for me!! He has never left me or forsaken me! I thank God for Mercy, a place where pure love was poured out on me and where I was transformed!